Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hello everyone,
I am Koko and I have been going through severe stage depression from like more than 14 years. It’s not only depression it’s overall kinda package of loneliness, feeling suicidal, feeling helpless, feeling something nowhere to go, social anxiety, feeling tired all of the day and much much more. Everyday i try to get up do some stuffs like cleaning dishes, room, clothes, etc but there is something known as “Black me” who follows me everywhere and when there is no one at home that black me becomes so large that i can’t even shower peacefully, it becomes so dreadful. I have heard things like “Be positive”, “Chill Bro” n all but to be very honest no things doesn’t work like that… There’s so much going through our mind and body that we maybe smiling and laughing outside but inside we are screaming, shouting, crying. Sometimes we are able to show all these emotions but sometimes we don’t have even capacity to cry. I am at that phase of life where everything seems lifeless, everything seems hopeless and if you say me this that I don’t even have capacity to argue… My childhood traumas, molestation, tortures and so many disturbing incidents are all the part of my friend “DEPRESSION”… Be it morning or night or anytime of day i am trying yoga, meditation, gymming but all i am getting is depressed. Some people have said me that don’t i have topics to talk or why am i so silent i hope this post answers all your queries. I am so much done with this life.

May God Bless You all and really thanks for reading !!