So I am kind of in a lost space. To put it into perspective Let’s suppose I want to go to Canada for a holiday. I will start researching a lot about it , collect the resources , talk to people, prepare a schedule. But I will never go. I feel I need appreciation/ acknowledgment from others for the previous steps and that’s when I will take action. And just the fact that I need a THIRD PARTY to initiate action for me, makes me feel disabled and worsens my self-doubt.
Now I have read a lot about it and tried addressing this to a few friends. I understand and appreciate their efforts when they say “YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF”, “DON’T CARE ABOUT OTHERS” etc. But I’ve tried it and it doesn’t work for me.
I feel somewhere from within the issues lies:
1. Either I am chasing a destination I don’t actually want to (and I’m doing it because finding what I actually like requires a trial and error method and I somewhere deep in me don’t want to go through the down phase of it)
2. The only reason for my existence or for my NEED to do actions is appreciation from others, if I dont get it, I feel I’m doing something wrong.(this happens majority of the times, but in a few cases I do what I FEEL is right even when I’m alone)
So would love to hear about it from you guys