He told me that he hated commitments and relationships and wanted to focus on his studies for the next 3 years when I asked him out because I fell for him and he was my bestfriend
And now I got know that he's in relationship and in love with a girl
And I could do was act cool about it and pretend not to care
whereas here I am, hurt and broken

Crush

2 years ago my boyfriend for 5 years broke up with me.. we did it mutually kind off thinking our parents won't agree but today I understand it was Gaslighting and manipulation. Only 2 weeks and he us already in a relationship showing off his new girl on every social media platforms, talking about her praising her in front of friends etc. When i initially found out I begged him literally and he was so harah about ut, i begged him for weeks then eventually gave up. It took me an year to stop crying completely. That relationship was hella toxic but I was so deep into it it felt like too much it still does. He was extremely controlling, i had no friends, no life, no free will, some girlies may understand what I'm talking about. After 1.5 year I started liking another guy, but the thought of my ex, the pain and the anger never left. 2 years now and I am still stuck in a loop always feeling like he deserve to be suffered, instead he is living a happy life, w his gf, moved in together within months.. what did i do to deserve this, 5 years wasted then and still continuing, when will it be my chance to be happy. Even if im enjoying something or just doing my work, the rage and the hurt is eating me. 

Breakup

wrinting is after so long... 
so far done with 3 boards psychology was great (relieved) F physics
and he's back from India I saw him but he acting cold again.
I'm trying to work on me to get into some physical hobby after boards something a little less complex given that I've never been into sports. tell me If yoga on an everyday basis works for a novice and how do you get started. 
I really wanna be THAT girl the one who doesn't sway with her emotions she doesn't have her heart beating out of her chest with just the thought of him being near who has her feelings in her control. I'm not sonal yet she gets to have it I'm so much more but I just want to stop feeling this way I love him and I really missed him and now that he's back all I crave for are his hands holding me I want to give so much yet I can't cause emotions are perceived as being weak why is it so hard to not love someone why is it so easy for him to not love me the way he did. 

Exam

Joined #nowandme long time ago....was engaged in a lot of work so back after more than a year .....
Here to share something very upsetting ....like literally after my first heartbreak I was not able to share my feelings and life with someone new but then a person came to my life unknowingly I was not in the state to accept that love from him but ended up falling for me.....
But guys now I am in big trouble because I have felt that maybe I'm boring to him like he slept early and doesn't have time for me...
I have communicated things with him many times and tried to sort them out .... Many of the times I said to end this relationship but he didn't want to end and assured me that he'll not make the same mistakes again but still he doesn't change a single but I can't bear this anymore guys .....
What should I do?



3am Thoughts

despite all the things he did to hurt me i still trusted him. he all buddies wit my rapist, he begged me for nudes and sent them around. he manipulated me and cheated yet i still wanted him. i stayed with him. vouched for him. he literally betrayed me. i dont care thought. i feel kinda relieved. finally im free of his bullshit. i got trashed and called a hoe because i liked him so much and now im just left alone. its like a weight lifted off my back. he was a baby i had to care for and make feel better. i rally could do much better thatn him. there was this girl all the older boys talked about named london. they said she was so fine and they would so anything to be w her. they all said they couldnt get with her because she had a boyfriend. who is this girl. me. my name isnt london.... idk where they got that from. but my friend was talking to this guy and she sent him a pic of me and he siad "thats london..." i have so much dudes to choose from, all his friends. i aint even kno either. i could do so much better. my ex still want me and he looking fine asf right about now. i really dont care abt him no more... but you know what if he asked to be wit me duh ima say yes he the finest dude i ever dated... but thats finna change real soon

Boyfriend

so its been soo long i havnt talked abou my feeling to anyone🤷🏻‍♀️
i was in a relationship i was soo into him that i even left everyone even though my family friends everyone for him that made me more alone although he is there but it was always like am always alone.. its been a month i have been struggling mentally physicallyy am not well and my boyfriend left me he said he said he dont know anymore whether he want the relationship or not we were together for 6 year and its just been two months he went london for his studies and am here in india and now he dont want me anymore its just break my heart that how could someone who promised so much things to you just tell you they dont want you anymore just cause we have distance now we cant have sex its just breaking me soo much i dont know how to get over this its too hard for me


Relationships

Why does he need to be so hot and cold all the time?
I want to punch him, kick him but most of all I want to kiss him and never let him go.
He is a senior and I am a freshman, which means that next year we probably won't be in the same country and this is why we are not together. We are in an "open relationship" but since there are no places to go and no parties we only see each other.
We do everything together. Play videogame, watch Netflix, cook, he even stay over every single night.
But why?
Why does he sleep on an air mattress in a shitty student hotel when he can go to his perfect apartment?
Why does he treat me like I am his princess?
Why did he admit to having feelings for me?
Why is he so caring and protective towards me?
Why can't he just make up his mind?
Why are his actions giving me different signals than his words?
And after doing all those things he just keeps a straight face.
I know that I should talk to him about my feelings and tell him that I want us to be together but I am scared. What if he rejects me or pushes me away after?
I think I am in love with him...I screwed. 
  
  

One Sided Love

Im feeling cheated and betrayed..! It's been 3years we were together and suddenly I've got to know that he cheated on me number of Tyms.. It broke my heart .im in a trance that... Does being a good person end up leaving in pain?? 💔is this what you get when you love a person to the core.. And another thing is that... I'm unable to unlove him nor accept him... I feel lonely!! I hope  this platform helps me out😊and help me out of this depression!! 

My boyfriend and I made a deal at the beginning of this week that if I cut, then he cuts too. And he told me that if I ever get the urge, he wants me to talk to him first about it before I do anything. I accepted the deal, but I've already failed it for I've already cut since I agreed to the deal. But I won't tell him because I don't want him to know and I don't want him to cut with me.  I don't really know what to do because last night, he made me think that he actually cut just to see the feeling, and I don't know how but when he said that, it hit me really hard that I don't want him to do anything harmful to himself. I ended up crying during the call but I kept my voice from breaking which was actually more simpler than I thought it would have been. Though, he did catch me, but I managed to convince him that I had the sniffles. But I feel horrible keeping this from him because he is like a best friend to me. But I also don't want him to cut because I'm cutting. And he's planning on checking me everyday until the cuts on my arm disappear but he doesn't know I have added a lot more. I don't know what to do.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts