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@asiam

He lay on his bed, motionless staring at the fan going round, the sound of it, no longer bothers them anymore.

She was getting dressed up, the time she had in front of the mirror was always the happiest. A transformational process everyday, it might just be a simple Kajal or a lipstick and a complementing pair of earnings and the Bindi to bring it all together but she liked watching herself perfecting the look. It took the whistle of the cooker to break her concentration. She got up to attend to the loud questions from the kitchen but not before giving one last look to herself. She was reasonably happy with what she achieved in the rush. Can women be fully satisfied with their looks anytime?

Rushing to the kitchenette which was not very far from her cupboard, she asked her hubby to increase the speed of the fan. The lack of response from him did bother her a little.

Her thoughts at that moment - Thank God I did not ask about his opinion about my looks.

Men will never understand how much validation women crave and how much it boosts their confidence.

She herself increased the speed of the fan as he was still lying there staring into abyss.

Once she was done cooking, she adjusted her salwaar and dupatta and left the small 1 room home, before closing the door she said - “Dinner is ready, have it when you want, don’t forget to keep it back in the fridge once you are done.” He looked at her and smiled, she smiled back and closed the door.

On her walk to the railway station she always thought about him

Her thoughts - I wish he gets better, he is not himself.

She was thinking that she should have been more expressive back then. She was apprehensive when he had come home and said that he was investing in a taxi business with his friends, but she held back seeing his enthusiasm and excitement. They were happier when he worked as a driver, he earned enough for them both, she used to do tailoring at home, had small savings, they could go to see movies once in a while, the occasional marine drive walks and the chats and street food. They loved each other and were building their lives.

But dreams and aspirations play their tricks. A better home, may be a place with water connections that didn’t get waterlogged in the rains.

Among these thoughts she never realised that she boarded the train and reached her destination as well.

As she was waiting for the car to arrive, she was preparing herself for work. The only thing she was happy about her work was that she met him through it. Once they got married she had left it with great difficulty and never ever thought she will ever get back to it.

She saw the car turn at the curb, took a deep breath and got her smile on her face and entered it, she was thankful that she had a couple of goo good old clients who still treated her well and paid enough to pay of the debt.

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @indifference
6 replies
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Anonymous

Well written 🌻
Would love to read some more 🤗

@asiam

Thank you, I will keep posting

Thanks for the encouragement, means a lot to me

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Anonymous

Yes please do!! Waiting eagerly 🤗

Profile picture for Now&Me member @indifference

indifference @indifference

I think that the essence and craving of needing to be with a man, comes from the outlooks of morals, the world wants us to have some form of “need” for others for food for the land we grow, it all needs somebody. Love and the ~male gaze~ all come from years of humanization and the need to be/ having to be attractive.

@asiam

Agree with you, a lot of it is conditioning that we have gone through since childhood also the Patriarchal society adds to these pressures

Profile picture for Now&Me member @indifference

indifference @indifference

you understand so well

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