Guys i really really need your advice/healp/suggestions whatever we call it. I met this guy on a dating app. He had sent me the initial interest and i liked his profile so we started talking. It has been like 2 weeks now. So i was the one who had asked foe his number. The first time we talked it went on for 12 hours straight. I know thats ridiculous and please pls pls dont judge me for that. I mostly dont even remember now what we talked about. But it was mostly about basic stuff and music, etc… 4 hours in the first call he says he wants to be exclusive because he feels this connection. I was like excited to have found someone who thinks the way i do. And i said yes, after a bit of hesitation. In sometime we were talking about loyalty and what i would expect in a relationship. He talks less and listens more. We also agreed to kind of meet soon as we vibed a lot. We decided on a common place and decided to meet. During the talk he said he loved me, i think i had somehow slipped it from my mouth first and then he stuck to it saying he loved me. And then my mind questioning it the whole time. He said he loved me and he really does. We kept talking everyday and we started doing video calls, mostly where he was only talking when it was about sex. Also durjng the past 14 days we later on decided i go and meet him in his hometown which is like 1000 kms away. I booked my flights. And we decided on the stay. But i had been anxious the whole time. During our video calls, he said he wants to make me his wife, and wants to have children with me, and he wants me to shift to his hometown. And i was like ecstatic and doubtful at the same time. The thing is he just does not talk much about anything else apart from sex… Very few things. Like i dont know much about him and he does not know much about me. And he just does not talk. When i talked about this whole thing to 3 of my good friends, they said he is just playing you because he knows what you need to hear in to let him have sex with you. And i cancelled my flights and asked him to wait it out. He is talking to me still, and says he is not going to leave me because he loves me and he is going to marry me. I am so confused. Please help me. I am anxious and sad. I dont know how and what to do. Please help me.
Okay look, maybe you need to wait it out. I mean he might sound genuine and it might actually be a gentleman but this is all too soon. And this Speed can freak out anybody out. You don’t know anything for sure, so don’t hurry before you do.
And you know, don’t trust words.
Actions matter.
Draw boundaries.
j @jys
Ohh, okay. Ohh godd.
Look don’t freak out, its okay.
Sooner than later.
You’ll find a way out.
j @jys
Yeah, thanks.
I am sorry but it sounds so weird. I used dating app too, and mostly people are there for sex not all I know as i found someone from there, it’s been more than a month, but tbh he didn’t talk about sex at all that’s what made me talk to him, and that’s not how you marry someone, you have to be friends first atleast, to know each others first beyond bodies. Sorry girl. Find someone better, i am happy you cancelled the flight. Don’t go for this man, he is really manipulating you by saying he will marry you.
j @jys
Ohh godd. I am almost crying now. I beleived him you know. Thanks yaar. It really means a lot. You are right. Thanks.
I don’t think I need to say much on this since many people have already said everything.
Please don’t be soo quick to agree into everything. Always consult your friends before doing anything like this. and He definitely seems suspicious.
Please be safe and take care.
j @jys
Yeah yeah yeah. Thanks. THANKS YOU EVERYONE. SO SO SO MUCH. IT REALLY MEANS A LOT. THANKS.ONCE AGAIN .
j @jys
Guys, i had a talk with the guy. And i literally asked him to come see me here if he ia really serious about me. And he said he will come when he can in a month or so. He will try to make it as soon as possible. Another thing i was so overwhelmed with the whole anxiety and my thoughts i told him why i had cancelled the flights. If it sonky for x i am not interested, so if that is the case, just tell me. And he is like i understand why you cancelled and even if you ask me repeatedly, my answer is going to be the same. That i am serious for you. I am just giving you time to process the whole thing. Also i talked about my life plans that i was planning on going abroad and he is like, dont hold your plans for me. You can start your process, who am i to stop you. He said it you who have to take a decision. If you want us both and also you want to go abroad. I am okay with it. I am okay with it as my sister in laws son is living wiyh because she had to finish her studies. If you want only the aborad thing, i am okay. If you want both the things (abroad + our relationship) i am okay, if you want we can make it work. Try and see if it works out or not. If it works out it is fine… I will try and come and visit you there 2-30 times a year. Besides, it will be an experience for you, you will learn a lot of things, and become smarter and grow. If it does not work out, i am here you can always move to my city. He said - if i was only interested in s then why would i call you near to my house, my city. Also, he said, ki if i only wanted s** i would still not be talking with you after you cancelled on me. Because i was the one who wanted to be exclusive with you, i pursued you. I am okay with your decision.
