Girls..if you're in a relationship..what are your top priorities..?

3am Thoughts

 I’m just sitting in a room thinking about myself and I realised I actually don’t have any one to spend my time with or talk .  Kinda feeling bad about myself. How to stop this feeling ?

Chat

College

It's almost gonna be 2 years since I've been FWB with this person i had crush on. We're so close. Insecure about each other and want to spend time together. Both of us are aware that we don't talk to anyone else. I'm a very emotional and sensitive person. I would be a lie if i say I'm not in love with this person. This person also has feelings for me sometimes he shows them and sometimes he shuts me out. I'm so confused. I've tried to clear things between us so many times but it always leads towards an off mood topic. So i let it go. This person informed me that "mera dil nahi karta abh tumse baat karne ka". But their actions are not the same as their words. Sometimes it feels like they want to be with me. I'm so confused. 

Crush

Why does it feels like today is not my day? I feel so detached from my family my city and everyone in it. Tho i don't know many people( this doesn't mean people don't know me, they do i don't want to). I need some support some thing to keep going. I just feel abandoned from the universe and numb. I can't see any point in anything? How to change my perception? ( Meditation karti hu kal se) so overall i don't have a clue about what i feel..  i wanted to live away and here i am then why am I low today? Why damn it!
And why some people can't see others grown up? Why do they want us to stay afraid like them? People are not my issue.

Please suggest some good movies or series to watch 

Movies

Trust me man I been with a girl for a year. And when I’m hurt or down she’s never ever tried to make me feel better. She fights me about something that happens in the past and blames not caring in what I did. When she’s sick or feeling down I always compliment her make her feel better tell her how pretty she is and stay in the phone with her until she leaves the hospital when she’s hurt for 8-9 hours. She has many friends and family here. I have no one my family lives abroad and I have one friend who comes around when he needs something and a brother that could see me dead and not even look at me because he has his own life. Sometimes I honestly get jealous when people have dinners with there family and cry in my room. I’m a grown man a lot of people respect me and fear me. And I have no one to talk to. Sometimes I lie to my self and act like she cares and she full out tells me I dgaf how you feel. I don’t know if it’s better to lie to my self just the thought of having someone that cares is better then having no one that cares and she even makes me lying to my self harder for me. And when I tell her how I feel she tells
Me what you think I’m going to feel sorry for you and I’m not looking for someone to give me sympathy or anything I just want her to act like she cares but even that’s hard for her. I spend a lot of money on her she more educated then me always calls me retard waste your not on my level to the point I actually feel low about my self and it’s starting to effect me. But I still love her I’m not perfect I’m far from perfect I’m a recovered drug addict two years clean and I was addicted to pain killers. I’ve always had money so I never stole from anyone or anything. I always supported my habbit I was functional and she always reminds me how she’s better and she could do better and how her x didn’t do drugs like I did. But I’m better looking and have more money then her x. I spoil her but her everything and he cheated on her. She’s 8 years younger. I’m 32 she’s 24 she went to university I went to college she always says she’s smarter and always belittles me. Always blocks me and unblocks me. And when we’re in bed she always says sorry and how much she loves me and needs me and can’t live without me. I lied to her so we could spend some time together told her a hotel was not refundable so she could come and she called me a liar a waste a crackhead I’m gross turn off and much more to the point I actually felt like dying and cried and I didn’t lie to get out of anything I know she’s busy but I miss her and wanted to spend time with her she’s the only person I have and I love her. I lied because I wanted to spend time with her and she always acts like she’s not home to make me suspicious and it’s destroying me emotionally and mentally but I’m so in love with with her the thought of losing her makes me want to kill my self. I honestly don’t know maybe I’m ugly or not educated enough or on her level but I try to make up with it with buying her things and spoiling her. All I want in return is small things like did u eat baby or y do u look upset. I fix her car take her on vacations shopping buy her gold  always pay for her and her friends and her friends boyfriends won’t even buy her a coffee and she respects them more then me.  I feel like garbage maybe I am I don’t know I’m not perfect I threw a sandwich in her face one time because she accused me of cheating which was so wrong I apologized a million times bought her so much things but it’s because I keep storing things in Everytime I tell her how I feel she twist everything and makes it about her. I don’t know what to do she actually treats me like trash and I feel worthless I was really confident always had an ego nice cars high self esteem. Since I got with her I feel like I’m nothing but a loser and she always says u will never change ur a lost cause the more I hang out with u the more turned off I am and I’m already hurt and having a bad day then she adds that on to it. Maybe I deserve it I don’t know y I live her so much how her hair smells how she looks how smart and clean she is. Sometimes I feel she puts me down to control me or she might actually just hate my guts breaks up with me 50 times a day. In her eyes every one is better then me I’m the biggest waste. She makes me insecure about how I dress my toe nails she will call me out infront of people or say something infront of my friends or agree with people going against me. I honestly feel like I have nobody and I am nobody and Sayjng this really took a load off my chest and there’s so much more I just have no one to talk to. And when I tell her how I feel she thinks I’m expect sympathy so I’m just going to shut my crack head waste mouth and try this I don’t want to make her look more down on me and give her more things to talk smack about and I do love her maybe it’s not her jib to make me feel better maybe I’m weird or a loser I don’t know I just want to say how I feel and not be judged and she’s my love my best friend and my family but I guess I’m not good enough for her and she knows she’s going to throw me so she doesn’t care to hear it. 


Lol, someone in severe depression of being single for life giving flirting tips😂

Other

A girl rejected me for my looks. This hurts a lot. Should not have helped women. All of them are shallow.

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