Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.

LOKESH

Friends

I ended things up with my best friend few days back. The reason is she's too busy to prioritise other people than me, as it contradicts her own statements of me being her priority. There is this person she had a crush on since a very long time but that ended very badly. I was always there for her. But she met that guy ( a great manipulator) few days back and they had sex because of which I was constantly with her as they did it without protection. That guy wasn't really that worried as he just texted her 3-4 times asking about the situation. But i was there for the whole time when she had to do the tests or whatever. And then that problem was solved but after that she did not have time to see me. I was constantly asking her if she could meet up but she was too busy which I understood as obviously career comes first. But i stopped understanding the day when I saw her snap having lunch with the same guy who left her in that situation. And not just that, I saw snaps of her hanging out with other friends even when I had been asking her constantly to catch up since 2 months. So now I ended things normally with no fight or anything because I'm hurt. 

Hi! I have a best friend from last 10 years but now she's got a boyfriend and she's saying that she needs a personal space to be with him. I feel so depressed because we were very close like she was my everything and now she's rarely get time for me.  In my every birthday she use to come in morning to give me bunch of gifts. But this time she said she's having entrance exam on that day and later I got to know that she went to movie with her boyfriend lying to me this hurts me from inside. I don't know what to do it feels very depressed.. 

Hey....
One of my friends, She cares for me genuinely as I think.but whenever she drinks she misbehaves with me.Not only that whenever she's around my energy drains low.I don't wanna hurt her by saying something as I know all her past secrets. She always reminds me that she is there for me but whenever I share my problems with her, she kinda starts shouting and judging me. I feel like she hates me in some sort and jealousy too.What to do? How do I say without hurting her?

I don't know what I feel
Today was her last day in my shift and I was avoiding her when our college ended I pretended not to notice her but she approached me when I was alone after my friend left and said" I will miss u really much" Which I also think I will. She considered me her friend but I was a bad friend i guess because i just couldn't attach that much. People pretty much hate me and are happy things ended between us(we were close friends) but she said that she found me a great person. Why do I feel like I did something wrong I mean I never considered anyone from college to be a real friend and created a mental boundary. She told me to teach her to be like (to not give a f_xx) because I don't care about feelings and I am pretty much detached. I wish everyone happiness even to the ones that hate me . 
And hope in future that she becomes happy and finds good friends unlike me because I affected her real bad and I was her sole friend but she felt insecure in us and there was a lot of jealousy which led us to this point of her changing her shift because she couldn't bear seeing me with someone else. 
I don't have this concept of attachment in my brain I just don't I just have a lot of flaws which I need to work on otherwise people might end up being hurt

My best friend has been confusing me so much these days, it's been eating me. I can't even say anything bad about her or fight with her because i love her alot. I give her a mile, while she barely even gives me an inch nowadays. I am always there for her, while she's only there for me when it's convenient for her. Earlier, She always used to be there for me. 
I am not annoyed by the fact that i don't get equally as much as i give, i am annoyed and upset by the fact that she's changed so much in such a short span of time. I am hurt & tired. I think i should start to let go. Anyway, i am the only one who's going to be hurt. 

It feels like I'm living with atypical narcissist who cares about me but not at cost of things that matter to her. Whenever we fight I feel I'm right but the way she answers to things makes me think that I'm wrong but deep within I know I'm not .She doesn't even fulfill the bare minimum things tht are done in friendship. I'm so bound to her that even a mere absence makes me go crazy .Im tired of overthinking and I hv to live with her for another 2 yrs (same college).I'm tired being there for her in every situation of her life even when she rejects my presence .I'm crying everyday and I feel horrible about it.I want her and I don't want her.Can anyone say anything about this ?


Self Harm

should i cut this friend off?

So I (19,F) and her became close in the first year of uni, when her (lets call her A, 18) ex flatmates bullied her into leaving their flat so she moved in with me. Our dads are really close friends back home so there's that. Our families also live in the same city.

A bit of background on A: she's too quiet, the kind of person you wouldn't even notice. socially awkward, and really really introverted. Me and her were opposites but I guess that's what made us so close back then.

So I'm generally a very outgoing person an have quite a few friends in different social groups which was good for A because she was practically an outcast after her ex flatmates threw her out and started spreading rumors about her calling her weird etc. So she meets her now boyfriend through me (lets call him M). M was one of my first friends ever in uni and we were super super close.

Come the time for finals, and we study our asses off and go back home. When we get our results, I passed and A failed. Of course she was going through a tough time having to live with her family who weren't sympathetic towards her so I tried to be there for her as much as I possibly could, checking up on her, helping her out with the resit exam etc. During this time she broke with her boyfriend, M.

Now in second year, she's not completely over M and she keeps crying about how he wont talk to her and etc so of course I advice her to move on, and that he's not good for and she deserves better. Turns out they end up getting back together and she tells him everything I told her about him and made it sound like I was against them dating or something. I was only trying to be a good friend and didn't wanna see a very close friend of mine get hurt again. So M gets angry at me and stops talking to me for months. It pissed me off because M was my friend first and A met M because of me and she ruined our friendship??? anyway this doesn't end here.

earlier this year in Feb, i was going through a lot, it was one of the darkest parts of my life. I fell out with my friend group due to one toxic narcissistic friend (this is another huge story) who started spreading rumors about me (one of them was that i apparently lied about being sexually assaulted). I was legit depressed and suicidal. This person was literally doing a whole smear campaign against me to make me seem as bad as possible in front of everyone. A messages me (WE LIVE TOGETHER SHE COULD'VE JUST TALKED TO ME BUT NO) and tells me to leave her and her boyfriend out of unnecessary drama. That hurt me so much because i was there for her during her worst time (when she failed) and this is how she treats me when I'm going through shit.

right now i'm stuck with her because of quarantine and she barely if ever makes the effort to talk to me, always has her headphones on in the common area as to avoid talking to me, stays in her room all the time. This just makes me feel like she got what she wanted out of me (support when needed, and one of my friends as a boyfriend) and doesn't need me anymore so she won't put in the effort. What does all of this sound like to you? I feel like I should just distance myself without saying anything rather than confronting someone as selfish as her.

Anxiety

Alright so this post isn’t about me but this other girl who has an envious attitude towards me. Ive had to deal with all the rumours she’s spread and the bullshit she’s talked about me the past few years. We used to be really good friends and at one point she told me that she wished she could be like me. I am not in a position to say “oh I know how you feel” because honestly, I don’t. And believe me I’m not bragging about that. Jealousy or wanting to be someone you’re not will only bring you down and I cannot stress this enough. You always keep a tab on what I’m doing or who I’m with and this is getting on my nerves. Ive tried to calm things down between us and become friends again but it just doesn’t seem to work. It’s like she’s not putting in the effort. I know I could just let this go and not give two fucks about this but I don’t want to end things on a bad note.

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