First of all, this is not the topic that I am most confident talking about. It is not in any way easy for me.
I have a problem with addiction to porn and masturbation. I have been this way for at least 3 years now, although my struggles with porn date at least 7.5 years now.
I want to stop. I have tried to refrain (I can go for weeks then come back even stronger often making me do it day in day out).
I am not dating and partly, that has been caused by this behaviour, and partly by other things, including not really wanting to. I broke up with my girlfriend just under two years ago and it worsened the situation. Now I feel like a total prisoner.
I don’t know how to ask for help from the people closest to me because I fear they might not understand me and might inevitable judge me. I do not want that; I am already struggling and being judged might worsen it.
All I need is to stop. Completely stop because I know how painful it is when you wish to stop and not manage to.
Hey there,
It is completely understandable that you are facing a genuine issue, so if there is even a bit of guilt or shame in your mind, don’t have it. Your urge isn’t in control. I would recommend you to check out this article if it helps: https://nowandme.com/blog/effects-of-too-much-masturbation
Moreover, if there’s a good sex therapist in your vicinity then it might be a good idea to consult them, as they can help guide you through how to cope with this.
Don’t worry or be embarrassed about this. Even if your sex drive is higher than most people, it is nothing to feel bad about. Just keep trying to actively achieve a stage where it is in your control for you to stop. It’ll all be fine.
Ah, I feel your pain. I’ve had the same issue, to varying degrees, for the best part of 35 years…!
I think the first thing to consider is that masturbation is not a bad thing - it’s perfectly healthy, free, fun, and harms no one. Like everything else in life though it needs to be in moderation.
So I would suggest job number one is to cut yourself some slack.
Job number two is to cut down - give yourself some breathing space. When the urge comes, try to distract yourself - run on the spot for 20 seconds, do 10 star jumps, anything that breaks the cycle. Try to avoid triggers, websites that might not themselves be porn but could show images that set you off.
Set yourself some targets - and then, if you make your target, pat yourself on the back, set a new target and go again.
Addiction is a monster which when viewed as a whole is terrifying, but if you break that sucker down, and get little victories, you can and will get the better of it.
You’ve asked for help so you know you’re ready for the fight. You’ve got this.
Good luck friend.
Based on experience, almost everyone has had this struggle in varying degrees. It is not talked about because people fell ashamed. But I promise you, when you take that step to open up to someone you can trust, it’ll reap good benefits.
The first thing I think you should consider is to ask yourself why. Why do I want to stop? Why do I feel like this is not the kind of life I want to live? It has to be a solid, strong answer because THAT is what you will hold on to when the urges and temptations seem stronger than you.
Second, keep a tracker! Keep track of the days and times you’ve indulged so you’ll be motivated to not break your streak.
Third, be accountable to someone. Overcoming addiction is never to be done alone! If you find that you aren’t comfortable to share this to anyone close to you, find a professional whose job it is to listen and help you!
And don’t forget to celebrate your small wins. Did you watch porn today but you only spent 20 mins compared to your usual 3 hours? Then that’s a win. But don’t allow it to make you complacent.
Overcoming these things take lots of discipline. That’s why you need a good support system to help you keep going!
