Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

in 2020 start, i was so content and grateful, felt lucky to have a great family,doing well in my studies and great friends and the best boyfriend… and then it all came crashing down, I lost all those friends who were close to me… my 11 year best friend and a wonderful group of 4 girls and they had some dispute and whole trying to make things right, i ended up losing everything, but i was better because i had my boyfriend, he was a rock, i then lost my path, things were not good career wise, i wanted to drop out, i was miserable and so confused and no one i could share what i wanted to say, till this point, things weren’t good b/w me and my boyfriend because of long distance because i came back to my home city because of the lockdown… we both aren’t long distance people, he was my world, and i could see him slipping away… so i didn’t want to add on w my problems because he was going through the same shit phase(career pressure + family pressure + long distance), and just in month where i was on my rock bottom, he left me, broke up on text… our 2.3 year relationship… without giving me a valid reason and hurt me so bad because he was hurting too… i was literally begging him to not go, because i need him then the most… so 2021 start, feeling useless because idk what i am going to do, i wanna drop out of my engineering course, broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago and 15 days ago he texted me saying how great i am and letting me go was hardest thing to do and telling me i meant a lot and he posts an ig story with another girl… the boy i was in love with would never do this to me in my dreams… maybe the bad phase changed him… he was a f boi before he met me, but in those 2 years he never ever hurt me and treated me so well, and the last month of our relationship, he was the shittest and worse part is that i still defend him and pray for him… even after all the hurt, and after all this, i needed someone to notice i was miserable, i was not being myself, wanted someone to ask once how i was, how i felt… but i was so alone… with no one… while i made sure i was there for all of em… and i was understanding when they weren’t… just gets too lonely… even after doing everything right, after hurting myself instead of others, i ended up alone and lonely, while other’s who hurt me have people around…

i got v bad trust issues and anxiety and panic attacks and all

You have been through a lot. You are strong woman. I am proud of you that you still have the courage to talk about your problems to someone. I know things are hard right now with you and you wanna drop out and you cannot get over the break up, drop out if you feel that doing it will make your future bright and happy and as far as that boy is concerned, let’s get straight you love him or loved him and so did he but maybe his situations changed him and hence he behaves like this. Don’t break down dear. Take appropriate steps. Try to stay healthy and happy. You have a future and you got to stand strong for that. Do it for you. Love love

thankyou so much, i cant even tell you how much your response means to me… i am trying my best… my ex contacted my friend to see how I was doing, and idk it feels weird… this guy was legit my world… but I think what is meant to be stays… anyway… people like you give me strength and comfort… so so so thankful… i wish you all the happiness and success <3 and I am hear if you need someone to listen to you

That is sweet of you! I am always here too

yeah you are right…