Feeling pretty bored and low. Looking to have deep convo with teens prefably girls.

3am Thoughts

Funny coming out story, 

so when i was 13 I came out as(bisexual at the time) and my asian mother just assumed that was a lesbian (this was before I came out as trans) and she legit said

I wiLl sUppoRt a mAn whO iS gAy, buT I wILl nOT suPPoRt a LeSBiAn woMAn. 

legit I told her she sounds like every cringy cis 12 year old girl who writes mlm wattpad fanfiction

and she stared at me with the most utter conFusIon

and Grammarly still thinks I'm being friendly :)

Coming Out

dated my best friend for some months then she left me. while i have moved on, there is a deep sense of disappointment. Tried talking to her about it but she avoided it. Should i mail her? I want to get things off my chest for myself. Otherwise we have a cordial social relationship and this doesnt really keep me up at night.

Breakup

I constantly feel like I'm drowning in quick sand. I pay all the bills, and help pay groceries and childcare. My SO works full time and pays their car loan and insurance and the other half of groceries and childcare. I know she stresses over not being able to help as much financially. She has a side hustle as well do I. I work 70 hour weeks on a short week. I try and give her the time she needs to do her side hustle, by taking care of our baby, cooking, dishes, laundry, trash, cleaning. Plus, I'm trying to completely remodel our house by myself and build my business up more as well. It hurts that I think I do so much and then hear that I'm selfish and I don't do enough.  

Anxiety

Why can it only be a crush? Why can't I get good connections in person?

Depression

Need some advice guyss
I'm talking to a guy on insta
Since like more than a year
We're just friends though
We met from this website he helped me a lot and we exchanged insta profile and we exchanged numbers a few days ago
And we talk for hours now 
Just on random topics and all
But he just talks about his ex all the time
They had a great long term relationship and she cheated on him
He just keeps on telling me his incedents
I don't know I maybe have a little feelings for him 
But I am just not sure and ofcourse there's a slight age gap 
And also he asked me out 6 months ago and I rejected it but we talked normally after that
But now we talk normally
But he's just like in new phase that I don't believe in love and I don't think Love exists
What should I do?
I am 80% sure he doesn't feel for me 
I am afraid to ruin our friendship

Confusion

Nowadays I don't care anything anymore, I am okay with what is happening , I have stopped complaining or expecting , I am just going with the flow. 

Overthinking

I am suffering from anxiety disorder. I don't know for how long I was unaware of all the symptoms. I don't for sure even know what is the reason for this..there are so many things that can be the reason. I have toxic parents. My dad and I were never really close, despite how they say girls are close to their father. As a child I was always jolly. I was an extrovert, loved to participate in different extra Curricular activities while also maintaining my grades. But I was always made feel guilty for that by my own father. My elder brother was an introvert so I was constantly been compared to him about how quiet he is and never does anything irrelevant. I quit everything I loved to do..dancing, painting etc. As I grew up I realised I've become an ambivert. There is a constant fight inside of me between the old me who wants to do something and the Person I've become over the course of time.. because of wanting to be the favourite child. I was made of infront of random relatives by my own parents! I was a child and all that caused really bad effect on me. I have social anxiety. I've lately realised I am also dealing with imposter syndrome too. There is always a feeling of self loathe. Maybe because of all the childhood memories where I was never appreciated and it made me feel so useless. I always have this constant feeling that I am such a fraud and that no one loves me. I was being scolded for small things and that's the reason as an adult I get scared when someone raises their voice(even if its on someone else). I was blessed with some good friends. Or at least that's what I thought.. My friends became toxic too. I realised I was always made to feel insecure about myself, my looks, my knowledge, my choices etc. I was body shamed! I managed to call off my friendship with them, but somehow I ended up being lonely. There are people in my college who I talk to but somehow i don't feel like we share the same vibe. I have a childhood friend, she's the only person I opened up to about my anxiety and imposter syndrome, she however didn't seem to realise that it's a real thing and that it's so difficult for me to go through this phase. I feel like i am dealing with my anxiety all alone with no friends, no one to even talk to. I am not allowed to step foot out of the house for unnecessary reasons( like wanting to meet a friend, get some new  exposure etc) I asked my mother whether I can join a boxing class and she straight away denied. No reasons whatsoever! She knows about my brother's girlfriend and is not very happy about that, but still loves him no matter what. But when I asked her about wanting to go outside to meet a 'guy' friend, she said and I quote 'Do whatever you want you'll also end up doing what your brother is doing' ( girlfriend and stuff and how I'll bring shame on our family if I go out to meet a guy friend!). She still has nothing to say to my brother about anything! She knows he drinks, smokes, has a gf but somehow i am the black sheep. I love my family, I love my parents, my brother.. And they love me too.. But sometimes all these behaviour is just overwhelming for me. They don't realise they are causing so much pain to me. And I absolutely have no idea what to do. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts