Feeling desperate for love and feeling desperate for physical needs are two different things. Why do people don’t see difference between these two now a days.
That’s very deep and insightful indeed. I think this era of instant gratification is blurring this distinction and the ‘hormonal high’ chase. Eventually when it settles, I think the reality doesn’t sit too well with them.
Hope you’re doing Ok?
I beleive in love. For me intimacy can be there only when there is love. I was in love with a guy but he was only physically interested. And when that bond was broken I was shattered and now I have no idea how to get back together.
How long did you guys know each other AND also how long were you in a semblance of a relationship with him?
We knew each other for two years and we were really close from six months after we met for the first time.
Respect is a two-way street and he must earn yours as well. He is neither above nor beneath you but must learn to be respectful of your feelings as well. You are a wonderful human being and sometimes we just need to be told/reminded of this from time to time.
The hour of the need is you and it’s best if you focus on yourself for the time being. Being a person of good emotional intelligence you’ve made a great distinction between Love Vs. Sex.
Your Motivation, Communication, Vulnerability, Personality & Presence of mind is operating on a level where you need a partner that can complement you at that level. If you consciously make a choice to return back to the same partner that is not as invested as you - it’s like a betrayal of yourself to yourself. And going down that road in the long run may open up Pandora’s Box that may never be closed/fully heal from.
I don’t want him back I’m my life coz I know that being with him is only going to hurt me coz we have opposite perspective towards relationships. I just don’t know how to get myself back I was too emotionally invested in whatever relation it was that now that relationship is over I feel to have lost myself.
The below are only suggestions based on the given context as I’m not a qualified professional.
1. Since there is no scope of the relationship being recovered, then as you process your feelings… getting closure might be an important aspect as well. It is human tendency to seek closure.
2. Since you’ve understood why the relationship hasn’t worked out, this will have have positive effects on future relationships as you’ll know what you want/don’t want. But ‘letting go’ of this person always happens from within. Working on facing all your triggers can help to let go. It might be painful at first, but, as and when one starts associating new things with those specific triggers, they start to let go.
3. Seeking a new interest can always be helpful. When you do something that interests you, it makes you feel good about yourself and keeps you out of negative or self-deprecating thoughts.
4. After a breakup, our regular schedule feels empty without the person being in it. Which is why one needs to go ahead and make a new one. Align with yourself, align with your feelings. Keep this schedule more focused on yourself, where you keep some time out for workout and meditation.
5. Developing empathy and realistic expectations for your recovery helps. Unchecked emotions can lead to despondency and a sense of hopelessness. Feelings of self-blame and even thoughts of self-harm are not uncommon, and professional guidance should be considered.
We’re here for you. Incase you feel that you need professional guidance, then please check on the below link:
Thank you so much for hearing all the things out. In a long time, I have actually spoken about all this.
I tried getting closure but he just does not want to have a conversation and eventually I stopped trying coz we can’t force anyone to talk to us.
We’re here for you. If he doesn’t want to be responsible and caring enough to give closure - that’s on him, not on you. You tried & that’s what matters.
I wish all good things for you. I know one day / some day you will find the right one :)
bro you have a solid point there. so tru
