Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I am in a relationship for almost an year now. We both know that we dont have future together. Yet, we are still got in to relationship. It just happened.😔
We tried breaking up several time but ended up sticking back together. Love is now getting intense. Neither he not i can think of ending this relationship. My parents are finding proposals for me. But not gtng matched. I may not get married soon…it probably might take 2 more years. But i want to end this relationshp as it is going intense. I dnt cant end this relationshp as i am emotionally very much attached to this guy and he does too. I am the only one person he shares his feelings with . He Always tell me that i have made his life better and cannot imagine a day without me
Even of we have an ugly fight… thinkng not to get back, we still get back after 2-3 days max to max and compromise.
Now i am in a stage where i cant leave him or keep him in my life
I fear… i fear…that one day ill have to leave him and that day would be the worst day for me. And also i would have that guilt feeling my entire life that i cheated on him.
I m soooo much dependend on him Emotionally.
Pls help me. What can i do?