Erm idk if this is a comfortable topic , I just want to rant abit. Okay firstly , I believe the school “care counsellor “ did called my parents quite a few times . At first I didn’t know about that , but then I overheard like the conversation between them . I was like wtf why would u think counselling my parents about me behind my back would really help the situation if I accidentally overheard the conversation, which I did . It just make me feel even bad about myself more and feel clueless about what’s going on. Then when I stay to listen longer ( my dad was on the phone), my Mum came and was like you shouldn’t be eavesdrop about others conversation, the guy is counselling your father not you . Then I was like wtf again shouldn’t I know about my own situation ?instead of u trying to help me , shouldn’t I be also helping myself? I was damn mad . Tbh, I hate 1, Counselors. Because if they really work , why would the amount of suicidal cases rapidly increasing even for victims that had already visited the counselling? Doesn’t make sense right? Close to 800000 people dying every year, which means that every 40 seconds , one person died. I really don’t trust the counsellors as a personally heard a lot of cases where the Counsellors were actually the ones that make the people commit sucked. What more the school since what they are the best at is to brain wash your children and tell them study and study and study and nothing more . Isn’t that wat school’s about ? At least in my country . I would say we would have pretty high standards when it comes to education and very one is very competitive about it . That’s why it gets very stressful . I really don’t know the motive of them . I would say I have depression and it was much worse a few years ago but I seem to be coping very well right now , having more friends that are genuinely nice and not so toxic. I would have to agree I’m a-bit complicated to understand as I don’t get affectionate to one quickly but I really would like people to understand and respect my privacy and why I chose to build this wall around me . I’m really not the extreme case so I would break my walls for people I think deserves it so I really wish they could give me time and by being nice to me instead of communicating with the counsellors which I’ve never met before in my life and probably don’t know a single shit about me . Honestly , if you are a parent , and a random dude just decides to call you and be like hey you child needs help , would u really trust them? I really don’t get what parents are thinking . Shouldn’t you communicate with your children first? If u, someone who live with you child , cannot find the main reason as to why the child feels sad or is completely unknown about it ,what more about a complete stranger ? I was very pissed at that time . Secondly, I hate peoples who talks behind my back . I don’t care if it for my own good or talking bad about me . If you have anything you want to say to me just say it in my face . Don’t be such a coward and talk behind my back. If you want the best for me tell me what wrong with me instead of discussing with a random stranger about how to help me . I really hate the fact that u say it’s for my own good yet I am not allowed to listen to the conversation . What is this dumb logic? Growing up with problematic friends was already a big no no, yet I have to deal with naive parents who just trust any guy just because he claims that he is the school counsellor . That’s one of the main reason I don’t disclose anything that is important to my parents , knowing that they would just dismiss it or start ranting about me to not be complacent. They are the one if the reasons .I had depression because of their acts that hurt me without them even realising. Like please, you’re an adult. Don’t you have the basic sense to know what to say and what not to? Come on, I can think better then do, and I haven’t even graduated form school. Well , scrolling through the contact list , I realised that there was no one I could completely trust so I decided to post in this platform . I really hope to meet nice people who can talk to me about how to handle this situation. I have no mood to be talking to my parents now. Thank you so much to any kind souls out there.
Hi, I read the entire post and completely understand your point.
I feel like you’ve really vented out all your frustration and anger in this thought. Did that make you feel better?
I think the main problem stems from us not talking about our problems or feelings. Half of the issues would probably be solved if we ended up saying what we actually felt in the moment and were our actual true selves.
I know you don’t want to talk to your parents about this but have you ever tried? Tried to sit down with them calmly when they’re probably in a good mood and explain to them about how your privacy is important to you? I know it’s easier said than done but a two-way communication goes a long way.
Also, about this, “If you have anything you want to say to me just say it in my face. Don’t be such a coward and talk behind my back.”
I AGREE 100% !!!
Thank you so much for the nice advice of yours and I really felt better after all the typing . Tbh, I really ain’t someone who is very active on social media so I don’t get much attention . So I decided to find a platform to say my thoughts . Thank you so much for being so nice to read everything I typed and I am planning to take the time to sit down and communicate more with my parents. Thanks once again
I think this sounded a lot like something I would say when I was a teenager. I used to be so upset with my parents for not understanding so many things and constantly thinking that they’re using society’s yardstick to measure me and tell me if I’m a good child or not. That’s what it felt like at the time, but there’s a lot more I understand now that I didn’t back then.
I also agree that you can’t talk to somebody who isn’t willing to listen or understand. But this will be more of a trial for you, because you’ll need to figure out what conversation topics are completely off the grid, i.e. the ones they don’t understand or entertain at all vs what are the topics where if you had to make a little extra effort to explain, they might just at least attempt to understand your point of view.
Ultimately, if it is your parents that you trust, and somewhere you believe their intentions are in your best interest, even if they may not be doing the right thing, then you can try to make them understand a lot of the things that they don’t understand.
As you said, I had a lot of toxic friendships too, which really messed me up. Knowing that I had loving parents whom I could trust was something I valued a lot. However, it is true, they never went and told anybody else about my issues. Not their friends, other family members or school teachers or counsellors. But in your case, maybe your parents don’t feel able enough to know how to deal or perhaps make you feel better. You have to make a conscious effort to break down your thoughts to them in a way that you’re comfortable too, but only if you trust them and their intentions.
Start with something small, maybe something mundane, like the ice cream you ate that day, or the movie you liked. Just build a little conversation day by day. Try out topics with them. At least an honest attempt in the direction of communicating will leave you better off than, any misunderstandings you or your parents might have. That way, you will know that you did your best to make them understand…because that’s the only thing in your control.
Thank you so much for the kind advice I feel so much better seeing that someone who can relate to me . Most of my friends really can’t relate to this situation at all. It felt so much better seeking advice from you . I would give it a shot and try my best to really talk about this with my parents and get them to understand more about my situation . Thank you so much and have a nice day . And also side note, why do you sound like you are really old? Please don’t take this to heart I just felt weird for you to say that it relate to you when you are a teenager and I’m only 14? Anyways have a great day ahead.