Dear stranger,
You know writing letter knowing someone will read it is pretty different from writing another page on my diary knowing noone will ever open that or will ever bother reading. and understanding the Scream for help perfectly blended and hidden behind the pretty words. twisted in some artistic ways… sometimes I try to be a writer, pretend to be writer and think everything I write are some unique piece and some other days insecurity kicks in and makes me question “Am I good enough to exist ?” My friends say I shouldn’t question my worth, everyone is valid, everyone deserves the life. everyone should get a chance." “chance?” chance for what?" is what I want to ask them. chance to survive each day when I fight with myself every other days chance to feel more miserable I already am? chance to let others believe they were right. I am useless. You must be thinking what kind of person this is? I…? Trust me I don’t even know me. I have no idea anymore who I am? I overthink a lot, overthink about every other thing in my life. I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t stop. years before when I was a kid, I was a Brilliant student loved everyone my mom dad too. Now I feel like a shadow of the past hidden behind the darkness that rules. my mind. I live in past love the perfect version of me. Blame the past for how it changed me and hate how I am right now. It doesn’t leave my mind as if some dark curse meant to destroy me untill there is nothing left but emptiness. Emptiness Scares me. The void that has nothing. The void. that my heart has a so heavy that it drowns me some unknown sea where all i see is darkness inside some closed off room where my voice echoes and comes back to me. Comes back with even more intensity of trembles my whole world. and I just want someone to hold my hand and don’t let me fall and not leave when it gets hard. I know. I know I should calm down and not think so much. I am Sorry I am Blabbering at the moment and I hope you don’t find it weird. Sorry again. Ever since COvid started,these 2 years snatched a lot from everyone and I lost the chance of speaking. again. I didn’t make anymore friend. I have 3 of them and they always listen to me but I fear like they will also get tired of me so I don’t wanna bother them. I don’t want them to leave too .yesterday someone said I should make small goals and work for it. I Guess I should maybe if I start getting busy. I will feel better. He also said I should believe in god. God? I do? I guess I do. Hey stranger you due believe in god? Is he/she actually there? if he/she is what does they do? Do you believe in destiny? Do you think" there is something called fate and everything is already written? Do you think if I run in the rain. untill it stops I will get to see the pretty rainbow or I should stop running and take shelter Somewhere even if it means I won’t see the rainbow? or do can See the rainbow from the shelter too: Should I let my feet take me anywhere to see if I will reach the destination or not Just to see if destiny is actually Something?
Do u think u reading is also something predestined and me suffering like this too??
Do u think it will ever get better ?
Ohhh c’mon you shouldn’t insult your inner soul, god has made you which means god thinks you are capable to do anything don’t let yourself down like this, it’s part where you don’t see capable it’s just a day c’mon there’s a lot waiting for you some good some bad however it’s better for you cause you know sugar is not good for health so sometimes spices is need in life so take a chill pill buddy 😎
I should love me a little more right?? I will try harder to not let myself down. Thank you.
Dear stranger,
Reading this letter made me realise that you have said many things i have always wanted to say. Is it a coincidence? Why are your words speaking my mind.
Overthinking is a concept i still don’t have a firm grasp on. Somedays your mind will drive you into this infinite spiral loop with no way out. It must be frightening. Sometimes it also scares me whenever i share stuffs. The actual thing that goes through my mind. I simply run away from it. There are a very few moments when i talk about it with a person because usually no one gets me.
You asked the chance of what. I am hanging in there by the belief that i will be able to do something that would make me feel. It doesn’t matter what? Just make me feel
Really small things that makes us happy is what life is about.
You say believe in god. I think I have become an atheist. I do believe that someone is there. Some entity who did everything, but i don’t believe they actually do things people say they do.
I have lost many things too and going through grief and loss is very weird. They say it has five stages but I think it’s the combination of everything.
I think fate is real. What’s meant to be will be. But that fate also depends on you. Of your karma. If you want to see the rainbow you have to be drenched in the rain
It was nice talking to you i hope i replied well to this letter
Will u find it weird if I say I cried a little after reading ur reply. Like actually being heard after so long?? Thanx for ur reply though . Means a lot. And I hope one day when this rain stops, we will see a beautiful rainbow.
I never really wrote so many things about my feelings so it was good for me too. If you want we can talk. If you don’t I’ll be a good stranger
Hey, whoever you are, wherever you live and whatever you do, you’re amazinggg!! I don’t believe in god or anything outside capability of my brain to understand. I’ve tried hard enough and might even try someday again but I don’t think anybody got answers related to this. All I know is that you exist, I exist and other people exist. Another thing which I want to say is you sound an amazing person and I would love to cross path someday and have a talk at a peaceful place. Buhbye and stop undermining your self worth dude!!! Take care and I hope you rock.
Thank you for thinking I am nice person when I don’t seem to believe that. And I hope if we ever cross path you can meet a better version of me who doesn’t hate herself.
