Daily thoughts. Also, I’m 11.
Today I woke up with no motivation, per usual, but a little bit less then yesterday. When I woke up I sat there longer than usual. This time, I wasn’t thinking about my dream. I was thinking about how I should die so all of my work goes away. That’s insane. I miss elementary school. I was free. I don’t really get the education system. You want to help learn, correct? Then again, you don’t care. All they want is for us to get our homework done and get it correct. If you fully understand it and prove that you do, They still dont care. It upsets me so much. But theres more important topics I want to get to. I have a mom who believes ADHD and depression doesn’t run in our family, so she refuses to get all of her kids checked for it. She thinks that because she doesn’t want to believe shes a bad parent, which she is. I told her, “When I have kids, I’m going to give them gender neutral names so that if they decide that they are transgender or non-binary, they have a name that they feel comfortable.” And she quickly, with no hesitation, replied with, “That doesn’t run in our family.” I use she/they. My mom knows im bisexual but she/they pronouns aren’t okay? I cant just jump to conclusions, But ive know this woman my entire life, And I know how this will end. Going on to sexualities, my younger brother isn’t allowed to watch or like anything lgbtq+ because my mom fears it will rub off on him like it rubbed off on my sister and I. That did not work one bit XD But still, Thats crazy. Another thing, My grandma yelled at me for having a trans friend. That friend lied about wanting to be a straight woman to see me in my underwear but still, thats sad. I’m her favorite and shes the only grandma i have left. I don’t feel comfortable around her or my grandpa. They used slurs when explaining how much they disagree with the ways of the lgbtq+ community. So I dont know how I feel about that…
Anyway, Im going to post about my childhood next so stay tuned
Stay safe
And have a great day :)