~~Compliments?~~

I'm being a pessimist. I think all compliments I receive from people are fake. 

Stress

Anyone would love to have short interesting convo? 

Exhausted

I just feel numb, I can’t cry when I’m sad and I can’t laugh when I’m with my friends. I’m just so tired…

My rx and i are back to talking and honestly i like talking to him but his last statement still keeps me awake at night “u were not worth me,hote toh aaj bhi tumhaare saath hote”
Should i take it as thing he said out of just anger or there is some truth behind it cos it is said gusse me log sach bolte hai . 

3am Thoughts

How’re ya doing guys and girls ? 

I am feeling nervous because I have to go to work tomorrow. As far as I can remember, places that involve great numbers of people have always made me feel full of anxiety. I think is safe to say that I have Social Anxiety. Not to a full degree of needing medication but enough to keep me up at night for an hour and a half. I know that I have nothing to worry about when it   comes to work but the whole adult life is scary. This is my first job at the age of 20 years old. Yay. But yeah, adult life  seems very daunting. My Dad has never showed a clear and level headed mind when it came to his money and side expenses. Even to this day. So my fear is mostly based on what I have seen with my Dad. And I know that I could be a smart as a  possible adult but its that fear that comes in. So you add in that fear and possible anxiety, that is not a good mix at all. But this also gets heightened due to me always thinking  and thinking to the point that I have constant headaches. They are only noticable if I pay attention to it. So yeah, fear of what I saw with my Dad, anxiety, and overthinking are some issues that I have had since 2015. But yeah, I know that my job is relatively easy and not hard but my brain has other ideas. I have read that making up possible fantasies in your head could help and I do make up fantasies. That is also another problem. Getting to say this outloud, I can for sure say that most of my mental and emotional issues started in 2015. Well, they heightened due to an incident that happend in 2015. I would feel better on talking about that incident on a different post. Dont want to make this post too long then it already is. In these past 7 years I have made little conversations in my head to get an overall idea of what could be my problem. Which is why it is easy to start talking and talking about it. I will definitly take time tomorrow to talk about it. I really want to say it right now but I think I let enough out for right now. Its better than ignoring the issue and letting it grow. My main mantra or saying is one day at a time, one day at a time. If only it were that easy.

Overthinking

I love this app this probably the first time I ever express my thoughts and feelings like this cause my entire life I didn’t have anyone to vent to feels
Good. I wasn’t raise where if we talk about our problems were we weak idk why but it was bad way we was living as a kid in Stockton ca this is Therapeutic

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts