Change - why is it so hard to deal with it? Why is it that we feel that we can manage everything and then in a moment life makes you see the weakest and most miserable version of yourself.
The fear of loosing what I have is so strong that I cannot look beyond that. Love in itself is scary, but right now it has created so much fear in my head and heart, that I cannot think of anything else. This hurts.
This pain, this anxiety - this heaviness…
I am not okay. I want to shout on the top of my voice that I am not okay. I want peace, I need peace to survive, to hold on.
It is just getting harder to stay and not give up!
I’ve been there, done that, still struggling with it. At one point i realized the problems is within me. We can’t overcome the fears of losing this and that if we keeps on thinking and seeing the weakest vulnerable version of ourselves. I know how ugly the weakest and vulnerable version of myself but sometimes we have to be thick faced and selfish to gain peace. We have to look at the good and bad of ourselves in the positive ways. We have to learn from the vulnerable and weak version of ourselves and improve them for our future self. I know how hard it is to stay and not give up i definitely know how much pain we have to hold it in to keep moving on. I always wanted to scream from top of a mountain hoping the wind would carry my pain to someone who will give the best comfort. We have comforts from friends and family but the comforts are “It will be good” “Time will heal you” “everything is gonna be fine” but thats not what we want to hear. We want someone to share our deepest pain to, someone to cry and laugh with. Someone who can feel and relate to the pain and struggles we are going thru someone who truly understands us. Not someone who pats your back and say “it will be okay”. One day i was thinking maybe if i focus on what the future will bring me peace i will find my place. If we focus on what are we fighting for at the moment whether its worth it or not. If its worth it then fight hard coz at the end of the day we gonna look back with a relief and be like, lucky we didn’t give up. Its better than looking back with regrets upon regrets. If its lost on the way don’t give up fighting it was not meant for you. They couldn’t withstand your courage and its not your match they become a distractions that life throws at you when you almost achieve what you are fighting for. Don’t stop until you find your peace then you can do what you wanted to do. I don’t know if you are religious person or not but i pray to God and told him all my fears and problems even it takes a long time but his help is beyond our strength. He is the only person who understands us in the worst and good days. I hope and wish you would find your peace one day.
P.S., Hope you will understand me. English is not my first language 🙂 God bless 💙🤍
I could feel every word of it. Thanks, this really helped.🌻
People change. Learn from your mistakes. Self love and care is important. We can survive without being in relationship/love. Live in present. Future is decided on what you do here. Choose wisely
