Been feeling a lot down since last night. Had a pretty bad fight with one of my closest friends. I didn’t even wanna tell her what i was feeling because i knew that we would end up fighting, i even told her but she said i promise we won’t fight but in the end we did. It’s a second bad fight in as many weeks. Whenever i express my emotions and feelings we end up fighting. She said i purposely do this to hurt her even though i literally told her to let it be, but she forced me into starting the topic.
Our relationship is fractured big time now and i never thought I’d have to see this day because loved her and did everything for her.
What is it that’s bothering you soo much.
I just told her ki these days we usually only just text each other when we have some work and i don’t remember the last time we had a genuine conversation.
And you have been friends with her for a long time?
Almost a year
Okay, tell me this, if somethings bothering her or if she has to share something does she share it with you?
She does tell me stuff about other things but she’s never told me anything regarding our relationship
Ohh I see, it can be a possibility that she thinks of you just as a friend. See we don’t have to name every relation in our life, some can be just being good friends who are there for each other. May be she has not yet decided what to do with this relation, may be she is confused regarding this. And I’ll say that it’ll ruin what you have if you keep brining this same topic again and again. Just be good friends, don’t hurry to name the relationship, be there for her, if you need anything she’ll be there for you.
No, she’s told me in the past that i am one of the closest friends she’s ever had. In the beginning, she used to treat me very nicely and gave me importance and used to listen to my concerns very carefully but then she just stopped and that started bugging me big time
This happens all the time, see the thing is every new thing has its own importance, and once we are used to it, then we trust each other with everything, it means that we know that this person will be there for us no matter what. And I’ll say that there nothing wrong in this. See I get that these things are bothering you and that’s okay, we often search the old moments in the present and eventually fail to find those. Just trust her as she told you that you are one of the closest friend she had. Take to her geniually once In a while, ask her about how was her day, take her out when she’s not feeling good, just trust her. And if this things keep bothering you, there’s always a way to keep her and make new friends.
I’ve always been there for her, I’ve done everything for her like every little or big thing but you might be right. I shouldn’t bring it up so often but trust me i ignore a lot of stuff she does that bothers me, i even said last night ki let it be because i knew we’d end up fighting unnecessarily but she was like no, i promise we won’t fight but we ultimately did. I think I’ve ruined it
See, she’s interested in listening in what’s bothering you, and that’s good and no you haven’t ruined it yet but you’ll ruin it if you keep on asking these questions. As you had a fight recently, I’ll say that you go and apologise to her, say I’m sorry for the last night, I know I’m not good with keeping things that are bothering me to myself, and I was so frustrated that I took it out on you, see I trust you, and don’t want to loose you, but there’s always a fear of losing you because of the small things, like there should not be a regret that I lost you because this particular small thing was bothering you and I didn’t ask you about it, so just don’t get irritated when I bring this topic, don’t worry I’ll try to not to bring it up.
I’ve already told her all of that, she said that she’s lost all the trust and faith she had in me and that’s saying something and doesn’t believe in what is true or not and that I’ve lost all the credibility and that i purposefully do all this to hurt her, which is not true at all. I am not that kind of person.
It’s okay, if not today but then after some days you’ll have to apologize to her, you best is try meeting her and telling her, that hurting her is and never will be your intention, these things are bothering me, and that’s not your(her) fault, I’ll have to deal with things personally, and I was not ready to do that, and in some way these things have caused you a lot of pain and I’m sorry for that, but this is last.
See everyone has some kind of problems with relations be that a major or a minor, of those some are the problems which we have to deal with personally, because those things are bothering us, and for a some extent we know that that’s not how the other person thinks. So you have to deal with them personally. And if you hurt the other person, let her know how you feel, how wrong you feel that my person problem have caused you pain and you are sorry for that. She’ll definitely understand. Just try talking to her.
Kathiravan @frightendog
A friend who don’t understand what you say and keep on fighting doesn’t comes under friendship
