Ujjwal @ujjwalme
As i am writing this I have reached to the end of my school life You may not know my older self before I came here in class 8th I was really fat but that did not matter to me much.
After coming here I was bullied harassed and all sorts of things that you can imagine a fat kid to go through but the part I was made fun of the most was my chest . People calling me names had now become a regular thing and I was really depressed there was not a single day that went by without me crying over my condition. People told me to wear a bra they called me names like moobs and it was bad. After my first year there i decided to make a change and lose weight over the summer vacations I lost 20 kg but still due to a condition called gynocomastia my chest area was still protruding the first year nobody pointed that out and my self confidence was boosted like anything i started to achieve more be it sports or my personal growth but as soon as i hit the limelight people started pulling me down for my physical condition and started calling me names again. In class 12 I was made the sports captain of the school along with the head boy . In no time people grew jealous all of a sudden my flaws seemed to appeal more to them rather than my achievements. It began again which brings me to this date today is exactly a month before I head out of the schools gate and go onwards with my journey in life. Today in the mess Pranay and Kapeesh who might show that they are your friends to your face and are nice to you but when their objective is complete they are not.
Today in the mess they started to make fun of my chest in front of other juniors and my batchmates and this was not the first time it was the third instance this week. A lot of people tell me that its fine do not pay attention to what they say just focus on your goal but what they do not understand is that sometimes more than what others say it hits you and you start hating yourself i am pretty sure that I hate myself right now for looking this was when i know that a hormonal imbalance is not my fault but this is rock bottom for me i do not know where i go from here. There are days when I do not even like to look myself in the mirror and there are days where I just want to hide and go away and not be seen my anybody. There are days i feel worthless I feel helpless I feel trapped it is suffocating and I just hope that all of it ends soon I can’t take it anymore someone please help me I literally cry myself to sleep every night.
