Are there any happy endings? I just want to vent if anyone wants to listen. 

Listen there are no happy endings.. if the thing ends happily na.. then it doesn't hold any value in our hearts.. sad endings are the gems of all

of course there are but, there will always be a problem on the way but that doesnt mean that ur ending is not happy

3am Thoughts

I’m a very sensitive person, and no one seems to understand me much 

Exhausted

Live alone
Bury self to work
Eat instant noodles
Drown self in a bathtub
Stream nonstop
Sleep whenever wanted
Drain energy
Di3

The only energy that's left in me is potential energy coz I'm standing on rooftop. That too will be zero if you take roof as reference.

Life

Overwhelmed. Yesterday my boyfriend told he likes something that goes against my values, there is so much going on inside my head and this made was the last thing I expected. I can't stop thinking about it and I should be focusing on myself, on my studies so I not fall behind. I had no motivation all throughout the year and now all the things I posponed are coming back, it's suffocating me. I don't have time to think about what he told me, but I can't stop thinking of it ... How should I react to that? What do I say? If I fall behind people around me will be dissapointed ... I had been drowned on my own thought playing videogames all day, everyone watch me ... they even are starting to question my lack of motivation, I know they are doubting if I really like the career ... I feel like I don't know me anymore, I portray myself as a totally different person. But it's hard to me to explain how I feel, to find the words to express all what's happening inside my head. I feel that if I not speak up for me and for what I believe I'm betraying myself, this is about everything not only what my boyfriend confessed to me. I overthink too much, I over do myself to much, I try to be better  I try to do as many thing as possible ... and it all ends up coming back to me ... and I feel overwhelmed ... and I end up doing nothing about it. I lock myself in my head and my own thoughts so I play videogames to keep distracted or I try to be constantly talking to someone to keep acting like this person who is tough and has everything under control ... 

Overthinking

The people who looked happy from outside ended their lives. Were they feeling what I am feeling right now? Did they feel empty and lonely? Did they feel like they had no where to go? No place, no person, no time. Did they feel that their entire life they had to hide themselves? They had to put on a mask for they knew no one would like the real them? 
So far I showed the world the real me. I never got accepted. I have depression and anxiety. I am not suicidal right now. So if I hide myself, will I feel suicidal then? I tried living like the way i am and it has been very painful. Will living with a mask on keep me away from this pain? May be by doing so, I will get the guts to end my life for I will know for sure that's the way to end the pain.

Depression

I keep having this recurring feeling of worthlessness.. and it comes out of nowhere like I will be out having a good time and something will trigger a negative response so bad that I am immediately pulled in this never ending feeling of being unworthy, that people keep me in their life just for the sake of it, I am not good enough for anything and I don't deserve to be loved. Because if the constant fear of people eventually abandoning me one day, I feel like just leaving everyone and going somewhere far away. I have had suicidal thoughts in the past but I have made myself stronger than before. N for a decent amount of time I thought it was over. But there it was again yesterday when those negative emotions came rushing back all of a sudden making me feel like I am drowning into this never ending hole of self hate. 

I feeling terrible sometimes but I'm also have a good side which is also sometimes devils I guess 😅 idk it's random though HAHA LOL

Love

I'm not at my best. Wanna stay away from any human contact which is not possible. Should I go for a run? 

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