i.am.here.for.t... @complicatedxx
Am I selfish for being jealous of my ex bff having the time of her life?
Am I selfish to constantly question whether she still talks/thinks about me?
Am I selfish to envy her friends and the people who get to hug her, kiss her, smell her hair, talk to her, make memories with her?
Truth be told, I miss her.
Even if I don’t make it obvious to others I think about her a lot, I still love her.
Do you know how many times I have called my other bestfriends CRYING to them and telling them about our stupid memories?
Do you know how many times I have made eye contact with her and she avoided my gaze?
Do you know how many times I felt that lump in my throat while recalling some of our memories?
Or when she is there, in the same friendgroup as me not even saying a single word to me?
It hurts. It freaking hurts.
And I don’t seem to get over it.
It’s been 2 months. 2 months since I lost you, my soulmate.
She said it first, that I was her soulmate. She was, still is and will always be my soulmate.
She will always have a special place in my heart.
I miss her more than anything right now.
I just want to hug her one more time, get the chance to register her scent, talk to her one more time, call her, text her, smile at her one more time.
Just one more time, please.
Is this too much to ask?
It’s been to months and I miss you, I really freaking bloody miss you.
Everyone is telling me that it’s her loss but to me, it’s also mine.
I just wish I could take evrything back. I wish I could take back the time. I wish I had done things differently . I wish I hadn’t lost you. I wish I wouldn’t need to do this rn. I wish I wish I wish I wish …
I love you always have, always will.
M.
yoursecondhandt... @andrerowan
Oh this brought back painfull memories. I also lost my bff a year ago… It was horrible, I cried a lot and thought about all the nice memories we had and all the plans we had together. We were planning to move to UK and find Universities close to eachother and move in together… We are both in UK now… but we live soo far away from eachother and we are not speaking… She lives with her boyfriend while I live with my parents… she has friends and does a bunch of stuff and she seems happy and fullfield… while I’m here trying to figure my life out…
It gets easier with time… you start to think of her less and less… but I don’t think it ever goes away for good… I know it hasn’t for me.
All you can do is try and live your best life as well… try to think of yourself and the things that could make you happy.
I’m rooting for you and I’m here if you wanna talk about it some more!
i.am.here.for.t... @complicatedxx
thank you soooo much for taking the time to reply. Your case must be worse cuz like you had made big plans together. We are just middle schoolers but seeing her every day and knowing it was her choice to break our friendship apart was just heartbreaking .
