Am feeling very lonely...


I want a girl who can end my loneliness😔

Hey dear....ik wat u going through 😔😔🙏.
And I honestly know what it feels like ...
But we gotta prove that we r more powerful than our problems right ? 
So chin up ...n fight your problems 😇😇.
N if u ever feel d need of a friend I ll b it 🤗.
Consider me as your friend....u can talk of anything u want 🌈🌈. I ll always have your back 😇🙏
Feel free to talk to me anytime....🌌🌌🌌

This is my Instagram id-
Sharmaheartbeat 
Feel free to ask for help...😇

Lonely

I m single 

Adulting

I was hoping this website could help me...

I had a boyfriend a year ago, we lasted only 5 months because we were scared to be found. I have strict parents at that time so I thought of keeping a low profile but he said he wanted to end it, so we broke up. Right now we've been talking again and we're fine, we already said our apologies and became grateful to have each other before. But now he's been sending me mixed signals, in an app he asked to match our avatars. We really looked like a couple, he even treated me like I was hi gf. He's planning to go on my 18th bday, and i heard he would wait for me. Should I trust him again and give another chance?


Long Distance Relationship

Why can't the ded one come back again??why why why...why can't they??   Why do we have to suffer all the lonliness and emptiness...what should I do when i miss him?? Why can't he return back to me?? To whom shoul I share all my problems now?..to whom will i gossip now?? Who will hug me and tell me i am here for you now??? Who gonna drop me now?? Who gonna ask me to oil his hair?? Whom i gonna celebrate my birthday now?? Whom i gonna ask for money now??? Who will protect me now?? Who? Who? Who? I want my brother back...it been one month and 8 days and i miss him 24*7 ... It's so hard for me .i love you bhaiya ..please come back to me..i have never said these words to you but i was so proud that you are my brother...u never let me feel down...even my own brother made me feel miserable at times ..but you never did...i love you please come back to me....please please pleae

I am in love with a guy . I love him very much. Before I was into this relation. I had some past stories and I did not told him about them, he came to know them now. And he was very upset with my past and not caring about me much. He started torturing and he started enquiring about my past in detail and during this time of period , he told me that he had some stories in past and i accepted them. But he is not at all accepting me and behaving very rude with me. But I wanted to convince him and want to live with him. What do I do now? 

Emotional Abuse



Actually I am having a really bad day today controlling emotions with respect to my ex. 

I was in a relationship with a girl from 5 years from Jan 2014-Dec 2018. that girl was my best friend before getting into the relationship.

We had lots of ups and downs as usual in everybody relationship, but we coped up somehow. 

Many times the mistake was from my side like not spending much time, busy in office work, not celebrating together, taking sometimes for granted, not making her feel special. there was some mistakes from her as well to be honest. But majority from my side. this is what i believe.

I think in 2018, she had lost some toleration limit or feeling suffocated dont know, she had started feeling comfort or liking with a guy who was her friend from school and was best friend by then.

She had actually said she was liking him in may 2018 and also there was many instances where in there was lot of contact with guy. but me being very loyal to her, she was loyal to me i believed and believe her a lot, ignored it as it is very common to like your friends irrespective of gender.

Even when she said this thing our relationship was totally okay and had no recent crackups. then in october- november 2018, we had huge fight due to my mistake that led to our breakup in december 2018.

We both tried a lot to save it, although the duration and weightage of try was different. where in she tried a lot and i was not still hit by breakup from dec 2018 and jan 2019, where in i tried a lot from feb 2019 and march 2019. but nothing could re-unite us. we were broken a lot and we had our own sufferings.

my breakup pain was not that much from dec 2018-jan 2019 and was progressively increasing from feb 2019 onwards.

But i was shattered to knowo that she got in relationship with the guy as i told before who was her best friend. I was shattered into pieces. She recently revealed that guy was in madly love with her from long time (even when our relationship was going on)

Being single (still single) , I had tried a lot to heal myself - having a lot of best friends I share with them, went through therapy, went abroad and came back. I feel okay sometimes, sometimes i still feel not healed and I feel terrible, even its been 3 years since breakup.

Even though i am struggling every now and then and even though my days are horrible, I never wished bad for her and always wanted good. somedays she just call me and blast me off remembering past and blames me completely, even though she has a relationship comfort, she is doing very good in life and even though she knows i am struggling, even though she knows i am not doing good in life, she still called me and blamed me top to bottom. 2 times with 6 months apart.

Even after these, i never hated or cursed her and stayed away from her as much as possible to not to hurt her current relationship and for the good of her. i even not blame or curse her for moving on so fast or falling in love with another guy. i feel it happens. it may have happened subconsiously without notice of themselves.

Now a days i feel inferior about my ex and hateful thoughts have started in my head. Have thoughts like I am struggling and she is doing so fine. Its all of sudden to be honest, i never felt so all these years. Now after going through a lot and have tried a lot to move on and have felt little okay compared to previous years, I dont know why i feel like this all of a sudden.

To burn me more, i saw her and her boyfriend on movie date recently where i just crossed the paths unintentionally. I could not able to take it and mentally shattered. This happened last saturday.

I have a lot of responsibilities in life right now with respect to my ailing career, my problematic home construction and this incident wonders me- "will i ever move on"

I am sorry if i have made you feel irritated by my long story or any inconclusive sentences.



Breakup

How I feel right now. I feel lost, broken, mad, sad. I’m trapped in my head asking questions that will never be answered. Like why did I have to go though what I did as a Kid? Why have I always been made to feel disposable? The mental and physical abuse I went through as a child was pure torture. When I turned 20 I packed my car and moved three hours away to start a new life with the man I’m in love with. What everyone seen was this beautiful painting I painted of my life for them to see. But what they didn’t see was that I was slowly decaying on the inside. I was once again reminded that I was nothing more then a peace of garbage. That I was just a disposable person. I was never Capable of receiving love. I have always been told I’m handsome. I modeled, played in a television show , even danced in a music video, (Nothing big) even bought a gorgeous house with the person I love. So why do I keep feeling like I want to die. Why does thinking about driving my car into a tree at full speed feel comfortable? Or getting a rope and jumping off a chair? I have always been thankful for the blessings I have been given in life. I already try and remember someone has it worse. But if I know this then why do I still want to die? I’m constantly asking why have I been Dealt these cards in life? I just want to say it’s not fair that I have already went through so much as a kid and tried my hardest to be a good person and find who I am and to think I’m with the person I love but he makes me feel like I’m just as disposable as my family did. The constant reminder of what a fuck up I am or how everything is my fault. Now to add to it all after 10 years of a relationship the physical abuse begins.  Iv been a punching bag my whole life now why do I still have to live this way in my adulthood? I know i don’t have to live this way. But why do I love someone so much but they make me feel worthless every day? I have no where to go, I’m stuck , I’m scared. I’m alone. I’m so numb to the mental and physical abuse it’s actually scary how my smile is just a light switch away.  I never thought I could hate myself because iv always felt like I’m a good person I care I have feelings I’m sympathetic I try to help anyone I can. But now unfortunately I hate everything about myself I hate what I went through as a child, I hate what happen to me. I hate who I have become. I hate that I still have to be faced with similar abuse iv already been tough. I hate my dyslexia , my ADHD. I guess I feel like throwing the towel in. It’s looking more and more comfortable at this point. Being trapped in your own head is the scariest place I have been to. Thank you for reading 

Stress

Why am I afraid of trusting anyone in a position of authority?

3am Thoughts

All are dukhi ghost ,sabke hal same hi j hai ,koy dhokhe me or loy pyar me hai ,i am also ,pyar or dhokha sath me chal raha ,i am trying to say that ,sabko dhokha mil raha to ye true love vale kidhar hai be ,oh yes true love vale babu shona se bahar nikle to milte yaha ,ayenge vo bhi aynge ,chil maro yarro life hai advanture kuchh naya nahi hua to bore ho jaoge dhokha hai pyar hai jo bhi hai. Ro rahe ho ,has rahe ho stress me ho ,bat yadd rakho kab tak rahega ye all are young generation ,ene to abhi 10 kisse banane hai bhai life baki hai ek bar fail hue to kya hua dusri bar try karo try and try don't cry ,kuchh na bas gyan batne ka man kiya to bak diye ,baki salam namste 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts