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Aimlessly scrolling phone, not wanting to do anything, heavy feelings in my heart, feeling tearful but no tears, a failure and the fear of another failure. Why did God create me in the first place if he wanted to put me through so much pain? I am just hanging by a thread now. I beg of you, give me something to smile about. I am tired of crying and feeling inadequate. Throughout my life I have felt that. I want to feel different now. My tears don’t stop anymore. I need you. I need a miracle. Either now or a year later in the form of HU. My devotion has dried up and so have my patience and my tears. If you can’t give me anything, at least pull the plug on my life. I have had enough.

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