A wise man first thinks and then speaks and a fool speaks first and then thinks."

बुटकी 

Growing Up

I found out today that my 4 years relationship long boyfriend is married
We had a long distance relationship and we have met lot times 
And the only way we were connected is social media
I don't know how to react to this
His wife is pregnant
So he basically cheated on me and him as well
She messaged me yesterday
She was sweet and didn't say anything to me
But now I am clueless
He says I was his only love
He still doesn't know I know
She has signed the divorce papers and point is she is pregnant
I don't know -

Boyfriend

I have been cheated on by a guy i never thought would EVER cheat on me. We’ve been together for a long time. I know and feel that he loves me so much. He’s such a nice kind hearted guy. He is sweet and compassionate. I always thought before that if ever this very nice guy would ever cheat on me, then i will not be able to trust anyone anymore. Then so it happens. :( I found out that hes been cheating on me for almost a year. its so heartbreaking, traumatizing.  am so angry that i felt the need to get even. I get even and let him know what i did. We cried and became so toxic. Then he cheated on me again and again. We gave each other a chance. (I know. Im stupid. Thats why im angry at myself too:( ) But I become so toxic to our relationship because I really felt disrespected, unwanted, insecure. 4years after what happened, i still get angry about it. He seems okay. But as for me, i still have regrets forgiving him for everything that he did. I always think about it every day. How he made me feel. The disrespect. The pain that i felt when its seems okay with him that he is hurting me. 

Now, i can see that he is a changed man. But the thing is. I’m still mad at him. I am always angry at him. And eventhough I’m always picking up a fight and pushing him away. He understand and choose not to fight with me. Its so sad that when someone hurts you, it is still your OWN responsibility to heal. I’m so hurt and angry. And i don’t know what to do to help myself overcome this. 

Cheating

i’m not sure how to use this platform, but here we go. the truth is i have no social skills whatsoever and i’m unable to make friends. i feel really lonely, i have no one to talk to… and i feel like something is wrong with me but i don’t know what. i am so lost 😅

Lonely

I have been married since 5 months , my age is 27 , since the beginning my in laws are putting pressure on me and my husband to have a baby. We told them that we are not ready yet , still they keep on putting pressure on us. My MIL says that if I wait more i wont have kids as it is difficult to get pregnant if I take more time . I dont want a baby right now. What should I do to convince them ? I am so tired of this baby conversation. 😖

Family

Let's go and pray ✨ for all good

Compassion

Ignited by the rage 
I've lost a lot of things 
Recited words of fate 
I've lost a lot of beings 
Decided to move on 
I've been all alone since then 
Options to choose from 
I've been a loner. 

Autism

Me and my bestfriend drifted apart after we caught feelings for each other knowing we couldn't go back to normal.I broke up with my ex for her.I literally have no one to talk to. I was feeling low and called up a few friends some had classes on a sunday which they usually don't.. nvm excuse accepted.. the rest had to sleep or watch a cricket match or play a game 🎮. I literally told them I need to talk and needed them and they didn't find what I tried to say to be important. My ex or my bestfriend both isolated me from my friends and for them their friends were important but mine weren't.  I lost a few people who were important to me because I couldn't be there for them. I have been manipulated by them that they'd always be there for me and I don't need others . Yet they were the ones to leave me alone. I have lost most of my friends I have been trying to make new friends but can't find the same or atleast similar bonds. I feel lonely sometimes. Another big problem is that I keep letting in people from past again and again they just use me and dump me. Each time when I think I've moved on someone from past comes in. They always come back in situations where I am very much vulnerable. Now I have a friend whom I considered to be like a sister who exploited and extorted me..I don't have siblings so I love my friends like they are my family-a lot of people know this and take advantage of this. I let people come back thinking they've changed or they are irreplaceable because they just happen to be at my worse times but they are no good for me. Since I've already let them I want to distance gradually else it would be rude.but dealing with any further will disturb me mentally 

i feel too much pressure I’m trying to be the best version of me but how I’m scared of people validation and opinions holding me from moving forward it’s exhausting 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts