A thought came in my mind... 

Logo ki zindgi computer se ban rahi hain.... Meri zindgi computer ne kharab kar di.... 



10 hrs to 14 hrs kaam karo and live your life with toxic people

lekin kyon kharab hui ? just genuinely curious 

And here I am to be computer engineer with at least 80% wake time goes to sharing my life with my computer . 
Sigh.

Depression

Just realised kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti chahe jitni marzi koshish karlo. You may think that some people have changed but lmao the joke is on you. A line that I have always heard become prevalent again that koi apne aap ko nahi badal sakta toh tumhare liye  kon badlega. Go work on yourself and your dreams sis. Someone told me rightly , that some people are there for a reason and some just for a season. Its the end of my season today. The one you think might change, HE WILL NEVER CHANGE. 

Friends

Okey so you dont reply to a person just for the sake that the ball is in your court.... reply kia aur jawab nahi aya tou overthinking ki jang wapis apnai ap sai lagai gi.. but on the other hand i am worried about him as well bc uss kai area mai covid cases aye hai and i am just worried about him that he is taking care of himself since he lives alone.. god help me.. aik taraf love of my life and care abt him and dosri tarf meri ego and self respect... 

My gf is making my life soooo miserable mai nahi hr wakt usse baat kr sakta 24hr yrr meri vi life h aur bhai itni dominating h koi kaise rhe aise relationship meh jisme samne wala aapke sath zabardasti kre 

Relationships

Nowadays why everyone is trying to be our friend ... like maa baap k pass jao to wo dost bn rhe h dada dadi k pass jao to wo dost bnn rhe h teacher k pass jao to wo jabardsti dost hn rhe h ..... few days ago I enrolled for online classes and the teacher over there she is frustrating 1 ghante class leti h or 40 min dost bnti rheti h kbhi ganna gayegi kbhi personal problems share kregi ... Arre madam pdhane k paise liye h to pdhai kyo jabardsti timepass kr rhi h nhi h dost ki jrurat humme wo phele s bhut h teacher ki jrurat h isliye tujhe rupeey diye h ...... parents ki jgha parents ki jrurat h teacher ki jgja teacher or friend ki jgha friend...   sb koi dost bnne m lge h or jo real m dost h wo mauka milte h papa bnne lgte h jsse he koi kaam kho to bolte h phele papa bol🧐🧐🧐  are yaar hadd h jisse jo kaam krna cahiye wo kr he nhi rha boyfriend daddy bn gya or girlfriend mommy bn gyi such a mess

Alcohol

One sided love to dard deta hi ha
Kabhi one sided friendship ki h ?

3am Thoughts

Theek hai bhai. I don't even have the energy to fight anymore . I really don't understand if i feel the urge to meet why doesn't the other person. I'm sick of this bhai. Sick of this shit . I really really want that person to miss me..how hard is it. Howww hard ?? Harr baar plan banake cancel kyu karta hai bhai. I really don't see any valid reason for u to not be here apart from that terko nahi hona. Bhai kya drama hai yeh. It sucks to be the person who cares more , who wants to meet more , who wants time more.. it isn't that tough man. A man really realises ur worth when u stop giving him attention..ab be it bhai. I'm never gonna ask u to be here now. Never. Aana hai aa nahi toh na sahi bhai . Done with asking for it..u can be busy in ur work all the more u want . I am stepping up now.. time attention nahi dungi khud akal aajayegi 

Anger Issues

I don't know what I'm doing with my life...
It's like I'm just existing...
I'm not living....
Subhe utho kaam pe jao donkey ki tarah kaam karo wapis aao kho aur so jao again next day same...
Itna realise hotay ki kuch toh karna hai life mein 
but itna low energy procrastination overthinking and sab, nhi he aage Jane dete hai na he kuch aur karne dete hai... 
Kya karu kuch samjh nhi aaraha hai... 
Age hai ki badte Jaa Rahi hai responsibilities hai ki khatam nhi hoti... Career hai ki decide nhi ho raha kisme karneka...
Atomic habits say Changr your environment kaha se change Karu 
mom dad ke sath khud rent pe rehta hu...
Na mom dad ne savings ki na mai kar raha hu...
Jhand si ho gyi hai life....
Itna realise hotay ki aise failure toh nhi marna
Par goal bhi decide nhi ho paa Raha...😫😫😫😩


Bas ab unse meri dil ki baat karni hai, usko batana hai ki me thoda selfish hunn pyaar me, khud ko kisi ke saath use na ho jaau isliye hamesha darr rehta he, isliye hi kisi ke saath ghumne nahi jaata akela rehta hunn khush rehta hun, dar rehta hai koi mujhe jhutha pyaar karke mera fayda na utha jaaye isliye durr rehta hu.... Khwaahish yahi hai koi sacha mile jindagi me, Jo samjhe meri jarurat or mujhe, Mein kho jaana chahta hunn unke pyaar me, jo mujhe pyaar karega binaa koi wajah ke Me woh hunn joh mera saath chale me hamesha unkaa saath rahu.. yahi mera pyaar hai, God I wish someday someone love me unconditionally,me chahta hu ki koi samjhe mujhe ki main kya hu

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