Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

share your deepest feelings and emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

โš•๏ธDepression

๐Ÿง‘Anxiety

๐Ÿ˜ฐStress

๐Ÿ’—Relationships

Create Thought

โ€บDepressionโ€บThought

If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.
Profile picture for Now&Me member @mochi9boba

Mochi @mochi9boba

210308

(2/2)

Now about my other grandmother, my Maaโ€™s mother in law. The evil grandmother. She preferred grandsons over granddaughters, so naturally, my sister and I were neglected if we stepped onto her house. There was this other girl, who was in no way related to our family, not even a family friend and she was preferred by my grandmother over her own bloodline.

That woman was so sexually frustrated that when a few years back, when she got a cataract surgery, she closed her windows with newspapers, saying that her own son (my uncle) would peep through that. That man changed her diapers when she laid there not knowing what was happening.

Maa used to tell us that when my father was in Dubai, they used to call and to attend the call, she used to step outside to the veranda. They could not have one private moment without my grandmother or grandfather dangling over their heads, eavesdropping their convo. When Maa was pregnant with my sister, she was made to do all the work at her in lawโ€™s house, even after being heavily pregnant.

When my sister was born, without letting my mother hold her first, my grandmother took my sister in her arms and said that she would either become a doctor or an engineer. The doctors and the nurses were looking at Maa with pity in their eyes, perhaps knowing that Maa was going through misery. Luckily I was born at my Maaโ€™s place. After giving Maa the child, she had whispered into her ear that the next one (me) should not be a girl. Unlucky for her.

And now my other grandmother. Maa always blamed her for her marriage. But the poor woman had no choice but to set her daughters to total strangers after receiving the news that ny grandfather had died (we think he was mudered, but anyway).

But there was this one teacher there who wanted to marry Maa. She shouldโ€™ve married him and couldโ€™ve led a more peaceful life compared to this one.

Anyway, now my grandmother thinks that my mother is at fault for the fights happening in our house. She doesnโ€™t have any knowledge that her son in law calls her names and puts all the blame of the failed marriage over my motherโ€™s head.

Her sister, my aunt, is another faulty piece. She never misses a chance to talk high of her husband (who btw has manipulated her into giving her her wedding jewellery off for loan) and to say weird things about our family. Her sons, my cousins, make her work like she is her personal maid. And the woman does it. Recently, my auntโ€™s mother in law was seriously sick with cancer and my aunt used to wash dishes late at night, saying that if something were to happen, atleast people wonโ€™t see the dirty dishes in the morning. Crazy? I know.

I donโ€™t know what to do other than to speak up when she is wronged. That too feels wrong sometimes when the whole argument shifts to me being selfish and impatient. I love her with all my heart and if I do get my scholarship, it will break my heart to leave her with my father with no one to talk to as my sister will go for her job.

I ranted it out here and itโ€™s currently 9:05 here. I saw her crying and thought that some people should know her story even if they wonโ€™t know her face or name or stuff. She has a beautiful soul and a determined mind and this life is not doing justice to her strong self.

Scared,
Mochi~๐Ÿ’š

Profile picture for Now&Me member @mochi9boba
3 replies
@somberembers
โ€ข

As I was reading, I realised that my father and my motherโ€™s side of the family also share some of the things that you mentioned. So I relate lol.
Your maa seems like a beautiful person who is trying her best. Isnโ€™t that what we can do, really? Try our best? I understand it can be tiring, frustrating to make your voice heard in an environment where people donโ€™t value your opinion simple because youโ€™re young. Itโ€™s shitty. But the very fact that you feel this way is something. Tell your maa this. Tell her how you feel and how grateful you are for her, for her sacrifices (which shouldnโ€™t have taken place in the first place, but unfortunately, this is the patriarchal world we live in!) and how much you appreciate her.
I hear your maa. And I see her.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @mochi9boba

Mochi @mochi9boba

โ€ข

Thank you for the suggestion! I will surely try to open up from my side too and try to make it easier for her. Thank you for taking your time and knowing my mother.๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›

@somberembers
โ€ข

And thank you for sharing her story! Good luck โค๏ธ

user_group_img

8644 users have benefited
from FREE CHAT last month

Start Free Chat
start_free_chat_cta_image