#11..........Months passed, I focused on my studies and got admission into one of the top colleges of India for my master's degree. I was extreamly happy and excited to start this new life. I shifted to a new city, away from my family and close friends. Life was initially tough but I always wanted to live alone and be independent so I knew it was just part of the process. Classes, projects, assignments and exams consumed my entire time. I barely got time to talk to my friends or family. Almost forgot about Mr. A in middle of this hustle bustle. When one fine day after 5 months out of nowhere I got a follow request from him. I didn't care much, just accept and followed him back. Though we followed each other but we never talked. He used you watch every story that I posted but never reacted to it and do did I see him post stuff but never liked it. By then I felt little happy as I didn't feel bad about it anymore neither thought obsessively about him. My days were going busy and I was always occupied with my work..........(to be continued)




Aditya Sahu

3am Thoughts

I was divorced recently . Mine was arranged marriage dint know much about his character before wedding .there were few red signal but I ignored assuming everything will be fine after marriage.
After we got married things got worse he would come home late every night never respect me even as a human . I was treated like a slave. He would pick up fight even for every small things . Eg: He couldn't find his socks . I went into depression but never had the courage to break up. It went on the same way for 8 months and he started a fight and left me in my mom's place. After that he would never come to see me and not talk to me I had to beg him to even talk to me. For almost 6 months there's was no contact between me and him . One day he called me and we started talking and I thought he had changed and I decided to be very patient and save my relationship no matter what. We started meeting outside but still he was not ready to take me home. He promised he will take me home after he finishes construction of his house and asked for financial help. I trusted him and helped him and after few months I realised he was using me for money took advantage of me. Then I filled for divorce and finally out of it . But now my parents want me to get married again not that I don't want to be married but I am not able to trust a stranger.I can't trust a guy from matrimony. The pain I went betrayal that's stopping me from moving on. The word marriage itself makes me anxious. I don't want to be alone neither can I trust anyone. I am stuck. My fear is not letting me move on. 

Relationships

Omg Ok im sharing here finally ..
There is a boy who love me since when he was in 11 standard on that i was in 9 so immature one ofcourse .
He love me so much always giving me help 
He did everything for me that he could do 
But i was too naive to see his love then he passed out  from school and went to study in different city and there was a boy in my class who also like me right now we are 4 years relationship 
But u know what last year when i went to new college i met that boy who love me in 11  standard and i im in contact with him as a good friend but i feel kinda sad whenever he say i did love me but i never care i was just not mature to see his love acc to me and i kept this secret from my bf that im in contact with him ....im not bad i just feel that im bad person 
 he say he love me but i never care 
But i love my bf so i just say sorry 

There was a boy in my life that i loved more than anything. He broke my heart for the 3rd time. He never accepted that he liked me or loved me but he was always jealous whenever  i talked about other guys n stuff he used to get possessive. He used to look at me whenever he got the chance he used to seek glances even when we weren't on talking terms. I had to leave him coz it all became toxic for me. Why should i be Friends with someone who can't accept the truth just coz he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Even then i tried i did everything i could i gave every chance i could but in the end he broke my heart it all became toxic. He said things that hurted me so much that I stopped talking to him. Now I want to get over him but it seems no matter how hard i try he is stuck in my heart no matter how much i think about hating him i can't. 

Life

I am sure you feel that I don't need you anymore..but I still want you to be in my life ...I have started ignoring you but trust me it hurts me more ...I don't know what you feel, but I realized I am not even worth in your eyes of asking me how are you ..I hope mai kamzor naa padu and stay strong in with my decision...I have realized it's true if guys like you they will do everything for you but if they don't you can't do anything one sided love is not enough..the one who loves more always gets hurt

One Sided Love

Here I am sharing my story where i feel confused and guilty... I have been in relationship with my bf for about more than a year now... And I just dont understand what exactly my feelings are for him now.... I used to have a crush on him for a long time and then finally in relationship I was very happy at start.. Ready to do anything for him... But slowly it started feeling too restricted too controlling... I mean i do not know if its normal or not like i dint have much of experience in relationships and he had a lot of gfs which left him or cheated on him n made him heartbroken.....honestly his insecurities have increased bcoz of all those breakups n constantly thought that i would leave him but now i really feel like i should bcoz i am not what he expects me to be... I used to do it earlier as i had no idea about relationships n wanted it to work but slowly my happiness started diminishing and urge to leave n be free increased. Basically i can just break up with him but for some reason its too cold hearted to do so... I dont want to break his heart at all he is already hurt n u dont want to hurt him anymore but my intuition tells me that we aint gonna last long too much of fights n toxicity n apparently we gonna leave each other but if i leave him now i m afraid he might never belive in love n would be shattered into pieces so i am just trying ti hold on to it but i just cant be the same person I was before.. I cnt be exciting anymore talking to him bcoz i think i might lead him to think all is fine when its not... I want him to realise that we both aren't for each other.... But somehow in that process i am rejecting him that hurts him.....I know that i am bad person here i shouldn't have made promises or anything too early but right now i have no idea what to do... I really feel like a dead end and instead of breaking up i'd rather let this go the way it is n maybe even compromise in the end n stay with him even if that makes him happy 

My boyfriend checks on me all time he texts me randomly n calls up but he never has conversations enough with me , i always crave to talk to him but he goes to sleep . He just texts me what i m doing i have eaten or not thats it ..like earlier he doesnt call me at night .we meet once in 2 days but atleast he shpuld call up nd talk half an hr or 15 mins .. when i fight for this i feel guilt that maybe i m asking too much or being clingy , what shpuld i do i control that i should not irritate him ..he still try to understand nd says he ll not do same from tomorrow but now its like he ll call me because i fought for it.. if he realky wanted to talk he would have talk to me and called me have conversations ..it feels like i force things ...i feel so low ..even if i talked to him i feel low that maybe i m boring amd he ll loose interest

People told me he never loved me at the first place that's why it was easier for him to dump me so easily and never look back to reconsider the break up. I just wanna ask if he really never loved me , was sitting across the table and stealing away a couple eye contacts a random date for him ? Why would he look at my face and look into my eyes when we'd meet ? Why would he shiver when he'd meet me ? Why would he stammer while talking to me ? Why would this "confident sigma male" become soft around me ? Why would he cry when we argued for the first time cuz he was afraid he had lost me ? Even if I somehow convince myself that he manipulated me into thinking he loved me , he pretended to be a gentleman around me so that he could get me. But all those times when he'd try to steal a few glances of me , all those times he took the longer route just so that he could see me , all those times he cried for me cuz he said he was afraid of losing me , all those times he said he won't be able to live a single day without me. All of this can't be a lie right ? All of this can't be so normal for him to just dump me and never look back at me. 

Breakup

After 2 yrs of my ex saw me in road I just ran away I do no y after that I got really anger at me y I need to run next day I went to his house bcz there is no need to run hide myself and he is not there so I contacted his one of his frd who is also my frd and he told my ex about that and next day he contacted me and called me we talked for few min he tried to talk about our past and he needs to meet but I rejected.he told that i only needed to see him 1st and now i miss him so much 🥲 he is going to his hostel next Sunday should I go and see him?

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts