Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

1 college m mera percentage 60 se niche chala gya hai. 4 yr m aise bhut reason hai jiski wjh se ye bekar hua hai.bhut hai bhut hai unpe nhi sochna chahta hun .
2 Lekin is smy ki prblm dfrnt hai

3 mjhe 3mnth m college k sem 8 k 4 subject clear krna hai + Project work krna hai hai itna sb hi mera 3 mnth m krne k liye tough hai

4 pr maine iske alawa sem 6 k subject ko phir se paper dene ka decision college m diya bai aur jiske baad mere paas 4 subject + 6 subject + 1 project work jo mjhe 3month m krna hai

5 Sem 6 ko subject ko main mna bhi nhi kr skta hun kyonki isko maine apne aap se promise kiya tha aur apne promise ko main tod nhi skta hu maine apne aap se promise kiya tha ki waise bhi to graduation brbad hi hne wala hi to ek baar akhiri kosis krke aur akhiri ldai lad k yaa to puri trh brbad kr deta hun ya phir apna percentage badal deta hun

6 back paper k liye mjhe paiso ki jrurat hogi aur phle hi pi6le back paper k liye main papa ko bina btaye unse jhuth bol k pi6le 3 back paper k liye paisa kisi trh manage kiya hun bna btaye hlka hlka colllect kr k

7 iske alwa main sem 7 k paper m bhi 2 paper ko jaan bujh k fail hua hun - taki phir se paper deke apna percentage utha sku - uske liye bhi mjhe paiso ki jrurat hogi -
Ab mere paas 2 option hai - sb k6 papa ko bta k aoni gltiya sb k6 bta dun - lekin mjhe ye bhi pta h ki isase unko bhut dukh hoga + mere bhai ki pdai pr bhi iska asar hoga uski coaching se sayd n jane diya jaye pr main kisi trh mna lunga

7 Agar main ye 6+4+1 m se kisi ko nhi clear kr paya to yemere liye aur bhut bdi musibt hogi

8 M kisi ko ye sb bta bui nhi skta kyonki itna jyad amain aage badh chuka hun Decision leke aur itni jyada chiz hai btane ko jisko na koi sunne ka patience hoga ur na hi koi ise smjh payega
Lekin itn asb k6 mere dimag m ghum ghum k mjhe preshan kr diya raat bhar need m sapno m har jgh ye mere dimag m chal rh ahai jisase meri prfrmnce aur kharb ho gyi hi main k6 bhi pdai start nhi kr pa rha hun

9 uncertainty bhut jyada ho chuki hai - ye 4 yeki uncertainty mjhpe bhut bhari pdi hai - aur in 4 yr k baad ki uncertainty to aur bhayanak hai
Kisi placement m in sb ki wjh se baith nhi paya hun sath m kisi govt job ki preprtn bhi nhi start kr paya hun na hi koi ftr kha jana hai ye fix hai

10 - 4 mnth baad college bnd phir ghar kse jau - whi 2 room k ghar m main apna yha ka saman leke kaise jau - n wha mere koi dost hai - n kisi ko janta hun - kse wha rhunga - aur agr ghar waps nhi jata to jha jaun - chalo ye sayd clear ho jaye jb main yha se Passout hunga

11 sbse bdi smsya hi meri smsya ko koi nhi jnta hai n gharwale na mere dost - ghar wale ise smjh nhi skte - aur dost apne hi preshani mjhe sunate rhte aur jb main unhe k6 btane ki kosi bhi krta hu to wo saisa lgta hi ki interested nhi hai ya aisa j6 khte hai jiska koi sense nhi hai .

12 m bs yha p apne thiught nikalne k liye yha likh rha hun taki thoda hlka feel kru thought aur krna to mjhe hi sb k6 hai ye main janta hun - decision mera
13kbhi kbhi kisi ki sath ki jrurt lgti hai koi jo mere sath is Problem m mhhe hlka sa push kre ki tm kr skte ho - pr ye jruri nhi hai i think - bhut logo k sath ye sb hota rhta hai - aur sb koi ko apni problem ko khud hi solve krna hota hai -

14- kl mjhe registration fees bharna hai - kal hi Application dena hai 6 sem k subject ko phir se register krne ka -

15 mjhe baar aisa feel ho rha hai ki main ye sb nhi kr paunga ye bhut unrealistic target hai pr ab pri trh haaru,ya phle hi haaar man lun jaisa tt k ek match m maine kiya tha match khelne se phle hi nhi gya kyonki wo senior the aur maine unhe respect de diya aur match nhi khel unke against , to ya to phle hi haar maan lun , yaa ldu aur tb bhi harne ka bhut chances hai + ldu aur jitne k chances bhut km hai kya kru. Smjh nhi aa rha -unrealistic to hai ye target ye mjhe feel hota hai …itni sari chize m khud nhi smjh pa rha hun
16 Sir bhut hlka ho gya hai - aur ye dar jine nhi de rha hai main haarna bhi nhi chahta aur jine ki umeed nhi lgti hai - kya krun k6 nhi smjh aa rha -
17 dost mre bhut mtlabi hai - aur logo se main baat nhi krna chhata hun kyonki aaj tk jo bhi mila hai wo mjhe hurt hi kya hai isliye ab insano se dar lgta hai - akele rh lunga pri life bhar - pr kisi ka gulam bn kr nhi rhunga khas tor pr logo ka - chahe koi bhi condition ho - yha p pta nhi kyun likh rha hun ye bhi nhi smjh aa rha hai bs limh rha hun sayd jb in sb se bahr kisi din aaj 3-4 yr bad niklu to yaad kr sku ki aisa tha main

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